One of my English classes (yes, I teach English, too) starts with a question “Are we born with certain character traits or are they developed in the process of life and as a result of events that happen to us?” Majority of my students answer that it’s 50/50. I support that answer as it allows for that 50% that we just seem to bring with us into the World and have very little control over which set of qualities we get. We are the way we are, and that’s that!
Many parents have probably puzzled over some of their offspring’s traits or behaviors. And many parents of 2 or more have wondered at how the two children are completely unique, have their own personal quirks and styles…and all of that shows up right away, before the child can even speak their first word, forget express themselves clearly and coherently. And the parents kept wondering what is going on inside that little head, hoping they do their best to help that little person to grow into a big persona!
Well, to do that, you should be aware of the child’s potential, their talents, strong sides, weak sides, manner of expressing themselves, emotional needs and other many aspects of the personality, which are already present at the time of birth, but aren’t fully understood and analyzed by the native up until their Saturn return (around age of 30).
Unfortunately, sometimes parents, wanting the best for their child, do what THEY think is the best (i.e. what would be best for them, if they were a child) forgetting that they are their own individual and, as an astrologer would say, what’s good for the Aries is misery for Pisces.
When you were growing up, did you have to learn or do something that your parents thought would be” just great” for you? Did you know someone who had? Piano lessons, anyone? Athletics club? Did you enjoy it? Ok, some of you did, I know. But some of you hated it. The moment you didn’t have to do it anymore was probably a memorable day in your childhood. And some of you might even have sworn to never make your child do THAT. And the problem is that maybe THAT particular activity is just what you child needs or wants to do.
Another side of this, is being annoyed at your child’s traits that you don’t understand. There are different ways to express the same energy and depending on the placement in the natal chart, it might clash with your way to express the same thing. Or it might just be hard to understand, because it’s so different.
Mercury will be a good example here. Mercury rules our mind, our thinking and communication style. Someone with Mercury in Aries will be quick and enthusiastic. I have this placement and I distinctly remember episodes in my life (starting with an early age) when people would tell me I talk so fast they can’t understand me, asking me to slow down. I learn things quickly, too. But the downfall here is Aries’ mind gets bored fast. It’s like a match – quick to light up (with an idea) and quick to burn out. Projects, started by a fleeting interest in something, get dropped halfway to never be returned to.
In comparison with that, Mercury in Taurus will be much slower in processing information. Their paced and studious approach might get on some Mercury-in-Aries’ (or Mercury-in-Gemini’s) nerves, but they will diligently finish the task and the knowledge, once acquired, will be firmly fixed in their mind. They talk without haste and don’t say 8 words when they could do with 3.
Many parents want their children to do sports, and indeed, physical activity is very important. But here, again, we can have issues by trying to select for the child. This is, of course, very often because the child doesn’t have the necessary experience to judge or know what kind of sport they would like or want to do. Mars is the planet of physical activity (though also the 5th house of horoscope needs to be examined). But in general, if we place Mars in the signs discussed above, we get a hyperactive competitive spirit of Aries that would do well in sprinting, cycling, roller-blading and anything to do with speed and racing. While in Taurus we get a great stamina but zero desire to move fast or be the first. Sure they like competition. But they compete for the pleasure of it, not to win (at all cost). So then you might consider baseball, boxing and other martial arts, where staying power is important.
These are just a few examples of different planetary placements in your child’s chart. If you want to better understand your child’s energies and characteristics, you could order a General Personality Reading with me. If you have a teen who’s just deciding on their college major – Career Prospects Report will help to shed light on their potentials, strong sides and talents.