Previously we talked about Sun sign matching and how this one characteristic alone is not enough to gauge how compatible two people are. Sun reflects our ego and who we see ourselves as, while other planets in the chart describe our emotional needs, the way our mind operates, what we desire in our partner and what kind of man or woman we need, as well as many other aspects (our talents, work, family life, etc). By comparing 2 individual charts an astrologer can help to understand what kind of energies each individual brings into the relationship and what energies they activate in each other.
Also, in the first part of the article we talked about the opposite signs and how mainstream astrology seems to be of an opinion that it could go 50/50 with them. We looked at one example, where the opposition of man’s Sun and woman’s Moon was balanced by the conjunction of the man’s Moon and woman’s Sun, bringing a certain level of comfort and understanding.
Today we will look at 2 more examples of such oppositions, one with positive and one with negative outcome. Our first example is the signs we have already looked at – Virgo and Pisces. The polar opposites that could be either two halves of a whole or mortal enemies. The example I’m using is that of my parents – my Virgo Sun dad and a Pisces Sun mom always seemed to me like one of those complimentary ying-yang couples. Not perfect, of course, there were conflicts, just like in every family, but they managed to find compromise every time. After I started to learn astrology on a deeper level, I looked at their charts (of course!) and was not surprised to find their Moons in the same element of Air – element of thinking, communication and “talking it out”. A person with strong Air placement in their chart will always try to solve the conflict by discussing, compromising, trying to understand where the other person is coming from.
My parents have other strong bonding connections, which I will not delve into, since it will require extra explanations on each planet and placement meaning. But the point I want to make here, is that those couples you know or heard about, that seem to be a perfect match and last for 30+ years, will have their charts quite harmoniously matching and complementing one another.
We continue to the second couple. Another polar opposite, a Sagittarius woman and a Gemini man this time. We already know that it could go either way and we should look deeper to see what their interaction would be like. Well, with one look at the Moons, astrologer already knows it won’t be an easy one. Hers is in fiery and confident Leo, while his is in moody and secretive Cancer. On their own, these placements are not bad at all. But there is little understanding between the two, as these placements in the language of astrology ar “inconjunct”, i.e. they “don’t see each other”. Leo Moon signifies a strong character and especially in a woman would cause a desire for someone to match the temper, but also match her optimistic, joyful nature. Cancer is caring and nurturing (which are great qualities), but it’s the Water element, is very much lead by emotions and prone to mood swings and even jealousy, which is not welcomed by both her confident Leo side and her freedom-loving Sagittarius side.
Of course this one difficulty alone is not something that would ruin the relationship on its own, but it could cause some strain. If both partners have awareness of their own energies and tendencies, it helps greatly to reduce the friction. In many cases natal chart analysis helps to understand not only your partner better, but also yourself. It helps to switch off the “blaming” mode and learn to accept partners for who they are, without trying to change them.
Our second couple has another “inconjunction” – their Mercuries’ positions: his is in Gemini – quick minded, talkative, with a broad spectrum of interest but there’s a tendency for superficial thinking. Gemini hops from one thing to another, covering large area, but it doesn’t like digging deep into anything. Her Mercury is in Scorpio – completely different style of thinking and communication. Scorpios are just the sign to get to the bottom of everything, they think deep and like to understand the processes and motivations behind everyone’s actions and words. When Scorpios talk, they say things that for many people are too blunt (and thus they get their bad reputation). Scorpio’s mind is extremely annoyed at Gemini’s verbal and mental hopscotch, they want to stay on the topic they’re discussing, no matter how unpleasant (if they feel that this needs to be discussed right now). Gemini will try to wiggle out of discussing anything that’s too serious, deep and – God save! – unpleasant.
So when when emotional conflict arises, this couple also has trouble of finding a compromise because they fail to communicate it to one another. Further chart analysis shows that the man wants to be the ultimate authority in his house, in his family (Pluto in the 4th house), which, again, is not a bad thing on its own. Plenty of women love a strong man they can fully trust the burden of being “the head of the family” and being in charge. It’s just in our case the woman wasn’t the kind. Her natal chart analysis shows a very strong, masculine energy, someone who won’t let others tell her what to do (at least for long) and with the Sun in her 4th house she wants to be equally important in the decision making process, when it comes to her family life. She won’t be happy if she’s not equal to her partner. Once she has started voicing that, expressing her own opinion – the relationship crumbled.
An astrologer can not predict if this will happen. Astrology is about opportunities and free will. An astrologer can help you be aware of these issues and their underlying reasons. Then a couple can make an informative choice. In our second example he may have tried to accept the fact she needs more “weight” to her voice when it comes to family decisions, and that when she tries to discuss something that’s important to her, he shouldn’t laugh it off or change the subject, as she gets easily hurt by such careless (in her mind) attitude. Or she may have tried to see if she’s willing to let him have the reigns and maybe put less intensity into the conversations she’s trying to have and not get so upset when he’s changed the subject again. She can try to understand it is similar to tring a 4 year old to sit through a 3-hour movie! So getting more patient and trying to break the topic up in smaller chunks could have been her key to success…
Astrology is descriptive, not prescriptive. Having a better understanding is what that description gives you. So if you’re struggling with some relationship issues, natal chart reading for you and your partner, as well as compatibility reading is going to help you to devise the best strategy!