A Tale of Two Whistles: Forecasting techniques practice with charts of Edward Snowden and Julian Assange

On my laptop I have a text file where I put down the topics and ideas for my future articles and, to my eternal dismay, I can’t  quite ever manage to cross the items off faster than I add them. Of course, I have classes to teach and clients to do readings for but I’d also be lying if I said I don’t go on a Netflix binge every now and then.

Anyhow, Edward Snowden has been on that list for a while and recently (I think it was late August or early September 2020) he has been mentioned in the news in connection with the possibility of a pardon as President Trump said he’d “look at it very strongly”. Out of curiosity I flipped through Edward’s prognostics chart rather than focusing on his Natal and saw a very interesting astrological event happening right around the time he revealed the classified documents and got stuck in Russia while trying to get to Ecuador where he had requested asylum. The clearest and most precise picture is seen in the Solar Arc directions rather than transits (see the chart below)

The Natal opposition between Sun/Mars conjunction in his 1st house (placed in Gemini in the Natal chart) and Neptune in the 7th represents his fight for freedom and openness, for information being available, being actively shared with people (Mars, Sun, Gemini) rather than hidden, veiled (Neptune). This is his fight (opposition) against deception (Neptune). The opposition is reinforced by the Nodes, the North Node siding with Mars (taking action) and the Sun (speaking your truth).

In the 2013 Solar Arc Chart this opposition made a T-square to the Pluto/Saturn conjunction in Libra in his Natal chart. With Pluto having to do both with secrets and mass-scale surveillance while Saturn is authority, the government, and Libra adding in the accent on justice, his Solar Arc chart paints a much more vivid picture than the transits, describing the significance of this event and this year in his life, showing how 2013 became the pivotal point which split his life into “before and after”. 

Yet this doesn’t answer the question of pardon. The dynamic T-square draws our attention away from a subtle but very meaningful placement in the context of the Solar Arc method – the Sun is about to change signs. Now, in Solar Arc technique the planets shift one degree per one year of life so a change of sign is a notable event. For Edward the Sun is not just one of the key focal points due to house placement, conjunction with the Node and being involved in some important aspects. For Edward, the Sun rules the 4th house – the house of home, the place of living, his residence. In 2013 in Solar Arc it was in the last degree of Cancer, about to go into Leo and stay there for the following 30 years. 

How is this connected with his pardon? It is not. Not directly. What it is connected with is his stay in Russia. If Edward had decided to consult an astrologer back then he would have heard something very similar to what Assange’s advice for him was: “You are the safest in Russia”. An astrologer would have also added: “And you’ll stay here for quite some time.” Mind you, an astrologer doesn’t need to know much about the political situation in different countries around the globe, about the strong CIA presence in South America and Russia’s intolerance for any attempts of snatching Edward on its territory. No, astrologically it simply reads as following: your life force (the Sun) and your place of living (ruler of 4th house) have just entered a long and stable (fixed sign) period of their most strength (the sign of its own rulership). The Sun is at home in Leo and is strongest and safest there. Edward’s residence in Russia is the safest option for him as well as it is a fixed, long-term situation. In October 2020 he was granted permanent residence and a month later announced that he and his wife are applying for Russian citizenship. In other words, a process which from an astrological point of view had started in 2014 (the Sun had entered Leo in the Solar Arc chart) finally got formalized on paper in 2020.

Ok, but what about the pardon? – you’ll keep insisting, waiting for an exact prediction as if often expected of astrologers. The thing is – it doesn’t really matter and for many reasons, too. Snowden’s fight is not for his own freedom to come back to his homeland.  The fight is for people’s right to know the things that the government is hiding. He’s advocating for the change of the entire system, the entire approach and he’s not going to be bribed into dropping his agenda by a pardon. Besides, indirect evidence is in the chart still – the fixed Leo Sun in the Solar Arc chart is not about hopping continents, it’s about creating a stable, lasting home and family environment. In 2044 when the 4th house ruler moves to a mutable Virgo – maybe. But I’m not interested enough to check his charts that far. 

What I was interested in is the fate of his colleague in the whistleblowing business – Julian Assange. The decision on extradition is expected on January 4, 2021, just over a week from now so I thought I’d look into that to see what his prognostic charts look like.

Firstly, of course, I examined the Natal Chart and even before any prognostics I see things I don’t like. See the Natal Chart  below:

I didn’t give Edward Snowden’s Birth Chart separately here, only the Solar Arc one, since he isn’t really the focus of this article. You can easily find his chart on any astrological site with a database of famous people’s Birth Charts  if you want to double check what I will be saying below when I get to comparing his chart with Assange’s. 

What I didn’t like about Assange’s chart is the condition of the 8th house. The Sun being placed there is half the problem… actually not even half, as 1 in 12 people gets this placement. As usual we need to see an accumulation of factors before making any conclusions. However, the Sun is in the 8th AND afflicted by a square from Uranus is already less pleasant. The only other aspect the Sun has is a trine to the Moon and normally trines are seen as the key to solving a problem. Not this one. This one is a trine to a very weak Moon (in Scorpio) in the infamous 12th house (secrets, yes, but also imprisonment) which also co-rules the 8th! (his 8th house begins at the very end of Gemini so this is the case where the next sign’s ruler is also considered in the chart delineation).

Man, oh man! Really, the positivity of this trine is very questionable. Finally, the Sun in Julian’s chart rules the 10th house and placement of 10th in the 8th gives the connection of death (8th) and authorities, government (10th). And this is only  the 8th house. There are other points in the chart that need to be examined in judging such ominous and sinister subjects as death.

The first house, as an indicator of self, our physical body and any harm that may come to it, is an essential element of analysis here. His 1st house is empty (Neptune is on the ASC but from the 12th house side) so we look at the ruler – Jupiter in the 12th (imprisonment, isolation). Ok, for someone who’s been virtually imprisoned in the Embassy of Ecuador for 7 years it’s quite befitting (and yes, it is also about his work in Wikileaks but I’m only looking at the factors relevant to the subject). Jupiter receives two harsh aspects – the opposition from Saturn which is tightly conjunct the 7th house cusp (house of open enemies) and a wider-orbed square from Mars in the 4th. To be honest with you, I don’t even know which one I don’t like more. Saturn’s aspect is more powerful giving strong enemies but an opposition has a more constant influence which is present throughout the course of life. It is the switch that is always in the “on” position.

A square is the aspect of sudden events, the switch that flips “on” and “off” every now and then. What is worrying about this particular square is the context of the rest of the chart. We already have one malefic (Uranus) afflicting the Sun (life force) in the 8th house (danger, extreme situations, death). We are now adding another not-white-and-fluffy planet in a tense aspect to the ASC ruler. To add insult to injury, Mars is in the 4th house. The most popular meaning of this house is “home, place where we live” followed by “family, home environment, background and parents”  followed by “land, property” and so on until we get to “the end of life” meaning which is also carried by this house. If it’s the first time you hear this, I guess I will deviate a little from the main course and explain:

The IC, the bottom of the Chart, the 4th house is the base of the horoscope. Symbolically it is the point where we connect to the sourse, where we come from (hence the meaning “background and parents”) but this is also where we go to. It is one and the same gate through which we both enter and exit this world while the opposite point (the MC, the 10th house) is what we leave behind, the peak of our achievements in one lifetime. In case you’re confused now by the introduction “another house of death” – don’t be. The 8th house is about the mode of death, its circumstances. The 4th house is more about the end of life, the last years or months. Having Mars in the 4th house in an otherwise peaceful chart can be read as “physically active in old age” especially if other placements in the chart confirm it. So if you find Mars in your 4th house don’t be scared and analyze its condition and aspects first. It might not mean the same for you as it does for Assange, it might mean that you’ll be running marathons well into your seventies!

Unfortunately, for Julian it adds another worrying indicator for abrupt and violent (Mars) end of life because of the other placements we have looked at above.

So, these are the sensitive points to watch out for in prognostic charts:

  1. The Sun in the 8th and the rulers of the 8th (Mercury and the Moon)
  2. Uranus (as the afflicting factor in the Natal)
  3. ASC ruler Jupiter
  4. Mars on the IC
  5. Saturn as the element of the 7th house of open enemies and an afflicting factor in the Natal
  6. Mercury, which was already mentioned as the ruler of the 8th house, also rules the 7th house of enemies bringing double importance to its involvement in any of the charts below.

Before we go into details of Julian’s future, let’s compare his Natal to that of Edward’s, paying close attention to the conditions of the 8th (death) and the 1st (self) house. Remember, I decided to be difficult and not to provide Snowden’s Natal separately but if you don’t feel like finding it separately, all of this can be seen on his Solar Arc chart that I showed above.

Ok, so the 8th house (extreme situations, danger, life threats and death) in Snowden’s chart is doing just fine. Much better than Assange’s because it doesn’t have any planets in it so nothing is afflicted inside the house. Next we find the ruler – Saturn, strong in Libra (exalted) – and this is already enough to explain why he was the one that got away. His chart doesn’t have such a strong accent on the 8th and 12th houses and has far less afflictions. To be sure, the 12th house is present in a much milder form (ASC ruler is in the 12th but closer to the cusp and strong in its own sign) so it is more about exile, forced immigration, fleeing. In other words this is isolation in a much broader sense, due to having to live in a foreign country rather than actually being held behind bars.

His 7th house is also in conflict with the 1st with the participation of the 10th (government) but in this case the 1st house (self) is much stronger than the 7th (enemies). Finally, in case someone is worried about  that Pluto conjunct the ruler of the 8th (Saturn): this is not a problem at all. Firstly, this is a generational placement of two slow planets and is present in the charts of  thousands, if not millions, born in 1981. So this placement has more importance in connection with the houses the planets rule and for Edward this reads as a connection of the 8th house (death) to the 6th house (health) and given the condition of the 6th house (some afflictions are present) this translates into dying of a chronic or a long-lasting disease (affliction in the fixed signs) which is a very normal thing and constitutes one of the ways of dying at old age (the other ones being dying of an acute disease  e.g. catching coronavirus and dying of an injury e.g. losing balance at the top of a staircase and taking a tumble which is much more dangerous for a 70-year-old than for a 30-year-old).

All right, let’s get back to Julian, shall we? The first Chart to examine is the same as Edward’s – the Solar Arc (SA). The one I’m providing here is for October 2021 because in Solar Arc we only look at the aspects of 1 degree or less and in October next year SA Mars will still be within the orb for an opposition with Natal Uranus (check) but also will start forming a square to the Natal Sun (check). At the same time SA Uranus will still be in conjunction with the Natal Jupiter and a conjunction with Uranus in light of the other placements is viewed as an afflicting factor here.

Solar Arc is the slow method and I chose October for this chart simply because this is the first month when Mars reaches the orb of the nasty T-square it forms with the Natal Uranus with the focal point on the Sun in the 8th house. This configuration will be in play for about a year but this is enough to say that during this period Assange’s life will be in grave danger.

Still, I wanted to check this with other prognostic methods of which two – the Solar Returns and the Transits are the ones we need to look at the external factors.

I’ll do the Solar Returns next and there is one thing I need to get out of the way before someone rushes off to the comment section to tell me I’m casting them for the wrong location: I do Solar Returns (SR) for the place where a person was born. Period. Please leave the debate about relocation for some other time BUT also note that I did look at the SR charts made for England and (curiously enough) they are showing pretty much the same shit thing (e.g. SR ASC is in Virgo for one place and in Gemini for another; either way Mercury rules the ASC and Mercury is combust). 

Solar Return for 2019:

  1. Sun/Moon conjunction (aka New Moon) is always a sign that the year is some kind of a turning point. The only question is which direction this turn is taking.
  2. This vulnerable spot in the SR 1st house is opposed by a strong Saturn and ominous Pluto in Capricorn in SR 7th house – fighting in courts against overwhelmingly (Pluto) powerful enemies. 
  3. 12th house ruler Venus is the 1st one in a busy 1st house giving the flavour to the entire year (seclusion, imprisonment)
  4. ASC ruler Mercury is conjunct Mars and square Uranus. Remember, Mercury is Natal 8th house ruler. 

Now, these are the same connections, the repeating of the themes seen in the Natal and Solar Arc charts. The last point about Uranus and Mars is not “it” yet. As you shall see in the following charts, these fuckers guys are just toying with him for now, slowly creeping in, getting ready to strike.

Solar Return of 2020 (this past July) looks nice with all them blue harmonious aspect lines…

… until you layer it with the Natal chart. But even before you do that:

  1. SR ASC ruler Mercury is combust – very damaging placement both for physical and psychological well-being
  2. Uranus is now in the Solar 8th and has a connection to Mercury, albeit a harmonious one (a sextile) but a connection nonetheless. 
  3. 7th house is strong again with Mars (which is not so friendly in the Natal chart) domicile in Aries showing the enemy’s ability to bring all they got (and being domicile they got a lot)

When we combine it with the Natal we see Pluto (crisis) and Jupiter (ASC ruler for Julian) conjunct and in a tight opposition to the Natal Mercury (ruler of the 8th). Cringe. And in case we forgot – this is a Solar return. That SR Mercury (SR ruler of the ASC) conjunct SR Sun is also conjunct Natal Sun in the 8th being the ruler of the Natal 8th. Double cringe. I mean, seriously, can this guy get a break or what? There is so much 8th house here it could kill an elephant! 

Ok, sorry, I know I should probably not make jokes here but I promise this is just a defence mechanism. Otherwise I’d be crying so hard I’d flood my laptop and it would have its own 8th house moment.

Let’s go ahead and look at the 2021 SR to check for any light at the end of the tunnel:

…and no. There isn’t. It only got worse. The 3 main planets related to accidents, injuries, harm and damage of all sorts in general, not just for Assange are forming a T-square (Mars, Saturn, Uranus) in the skies and marking a period high in all sorts of accidents, catastrophes, casualties and so on which happens every time these three meet in any tense combination (with Pluto being the 4th horseman). But for those of us who don’t have these in the SR for 2021 and don’t have these planets connected with harm and damage in the Natal chart this period might pass unnoticed or with just some minor bumps and scrapes. Maybe with higher incidence of breakage. Of dishes and such. For Julian they are the 3 troublesome malefics that are up to no good, especially in the T-square formation.

There isn’t even hope that Saturn, being the ruler of the SR ASC and strong in Aquarius, will bring anything positive because natally he is still the 7th house – enemies.

I know I promised Transits as well, but I will leave this to you guys to check out for now. You know which things to be on the lookout for and this will give you a chance to practice. This is already an over 3000 words entry and long reads are getting harder and harder to push on people these days LOL no offence, I am including myself in this group too.

Besides, the above methods and charts are describing the entire 2-year period as one long walk across the minefield. Looking for a specific event with transits will only make sense once the decision on extradition is made so I guess I will revisit the topic.

For now I will leave you with some homework and the summary. I only wanted to focus on the main factors in the charts and they are the 10 main planets and the main house positions. For those who have appreciation for nuances (or would be interested in finding them) I would suggest looking at the above charts and analyzing the role of the secondary factors like Lilith, Chiron, inter-connection of the houses throughout the 3 Solar Returns, the intercepted signs in 7th houses of the 2020 and 2021 SR, the  Nodes and the cusps of houses (Solar and Natal) they conjunct and so on.

The summary:

I would be very happy to see Julian live long enough to celebrate his 51st  Solar return on July 2nd, 2022 even if it would mean I made a mistake in my astrological analysis. It would be totally fine and would mean I still have a lot to learn. One can recover from making a mistake. One can not recover from dying. If, however, his extradition goes through then his chances are next to zero. Even if it doesn’t go through, his life will still be in danger, with 2021 and the first half of 2022 being the most critical period. 

Alcoholism In The Natal Chart: Astrological Patterns and Placements Indicating the Tendency.

Natal Chart analysis is used to assess a person’s temperament, character, emotional needs and numerous other factors and traits of one’s personality. The following article is going to be the first one in a series where I will take a look at typical patterns and placements for various issues which can be seen in a person’s Birth Chart such as aggression and violence, depression and – the one which is in focus today – alcoholism.

Before we get to the list of typical placements and patterns and the examples which demonstrate them I want to stress that these patterns only indicate a tendency. Many times a person who is just starting to learn astrology is prone to jumping to conclusions based on one or two factors, ignoring the rest of the chart. While the tendency may exist in many charts you come across, it does not necessarily doom a person to becoming an alcoholic sooner or later. At the same time (as we shall see in some examples) a person who does succumb to this predisposition can fight and overcome it and this is shown by the ‘helping’ stronger planets in the chart.

Another thing is that finding just one of several astrological placements I am going to list below will indicate a drinking problem or even just occasional excessive alcohol consumption which are not alcoholism in its strict definition but still can be quite destructive to a person’s social or private life not to mention health. In other words – the more placements are found in the chart, the more evidence there is, so to say, the further up someone is likely to be on the scale from “teetotaler” to “alcoholic”.

Ok, so the factors we are looking for are:

  1. An afflicted Moon or Mars in a Water sign
  2. Mars or the Moon in a harsh aspect (opposition or square) with Neptune or Jupiter.
  3. Connection of the above placements and aspects to the 12th house, as well as the 1st or the 6th.
  4. Accent on the sign of Pisces (ruled by Neptune) in a negative way

I will start with 

Betty Ford 

not only because First Ladies go first. She is a vivid example of both being successful in overcoming addiction as well as the fact that this problem can permeate all levels of society; that being rich and having high social status doesn’t safeguard from having mental or emotional problems. Her example breaks the stereotype of an alcoholic being “that scruffy guy on the street or next to you in line at the store who reeks of cheap booze” . In her own words: “My makeup wasn’t smeared, I wasn’t disheveled, I behaved politely, and I never finished off a bottle, so how could I be alcoholic?”. But she was and in the 1970s she announced her long-running battle with alcoholism and substance abuse, being the first First Lady to do so. In 1982, after her recovery, she established the Betty Ford Center for treatment of people with substance abuse and dependence.

She was born 8 April 1918 at 15:45 in Chicago, IL, USA (source Astro-Databank). See the chart below.

Immediately we see the Mars-Moon opposition with the Moon in Pisces and the aspect is happening in the 1st-7th house. That one placement checks 3 items on our list: 1) afflicted Moon in a Water sign  2) a negative accent on Pisces (opposition)  3) connection with the first house of self, the house of personality and physical body. If we keep looking, we’ll see Jupiter also afflicting the Moon with a square. Jupiter is not strong by sign but is strong by house placement and it does add its negative influence.

By the way, if you are wondering why we are even looking at Jupiter here, since the first and most popular meaning of Jupiter is the “planet of good luck” I will take a minute to explain. The first and primary meaning of Jupiter is actually “a lot”. Simply that. “A lot” is quite neutral on its own and only gets a positive or a negative connotation when combined with other things. “A lot of pleasure” is quite different from “a lot of pain”, right? If we look for some synonyms here we can use “plenty” and “excess” which will clearly demonstrate the difference between a positive influence of Jupiter in the chart (plenty = enough, a lot in a way that is not inconvenient) and negative influence (excess = too much, over the top, so much that it can cause problems). That is why, apart from Neptune which is a natural significator of substances like drugs and alcohol, we look for harsh aspects from Jupiter which in our situation will show excessive drinking.

Let’s get back to Betty and see what her Neptune is doing. It is sitting just a couple degrees away from the 12th house cusp which is only a minor addition to the picture. The much more important thing here is the square that Neptune is giving to Mercury. “Wait, where does Mercury come from? It wasn’t on the list!” – you might say. Mercury here demonstrates the importance of knowing the birth time in Natal astrology. In itself Mercury is not connected to the topic but in Betty’s chart it is the ruler of the 1st house and it gives us yet another negative influence of Neptune on the first house running up the total to 5 strong indications. 

The Moon, being the weakest link here, doesn’t have any harmonious aspect which would serve as constructive solutions to the problem and this is why this chart is a good example on so many levels. We don’t see any harmonious aspect that will show us the solution so how did she manage to not only beat it but also take it to the next level by founding the help center? The answer is: dispositions aka planetary rulerships.

The Moon rules Pluto in Cancer 10th and Pluto is supported by a strong exalted Venus in Pisces in the 6th. This is where the Moon receives its support and with the 6th house having to do with service and Pisces being the sign motivated by compassion and empathy it was only natural that after treating her own addiction she continued by helping others (Venus, Pisces, 6th house) on a large scale, leaving a noticeable sociable impact (Pluto, 10th house).

One more placement that helped her to solve the problem is the Sun in the sign of its exaltation (Aries). The Sun is our will and even with no aspects and in the 8th house it gives a willful and strong personality helping to achieve goals she has set for herself.

While the First Lady’s struggle with substance abuse might be news to some people, the next person’s relationship with drinking as well as driving while doing it is quite notorious. Also, he is a more recent character and should be more familiar to many of the readers. 

Mel Gibson

was born on January 3rd, 1956 at 16:45 in Peekskill, NY, USA. I won’t spend time describing his story of alcohol problems. If it’s the first time you’re hearing about it, his Wikipedia article has a separate section describing it in detail. The chart is given below:

As you can imagine, there was an abundance of candidates for this article. A large number of people meet the requirement of just two things: being known to a fairly large number of people and having alcohol problems. I made my choices based on the Natal charts and their ability to demonstrate the astrological patterns in their variety. Mel is here to contrast Betty’s afflicted Moon in Water sign. Her quiet, passive and hidden (Pisces) affair with the bottle is quite different from his active and aggressive experience indicated by Mars in a Water sign of Scorpio. Even though it is in its own sign and thus quite strong, it doesn’t save it from being afflicted by a conjunction with Saturn and a square from Pluto. Both aspects are quite wide but still within the orb. His Moon is doing just fine but just like with Betty we see a 1st-7th house opposition (remember – planets in the 1st house have a strong connection both with your personality and physical body). The opposition is narrow with two degrees orb and what is more interesting is, again, dispositions and receptions. Uranus in the 1st degree of Leo is in the sign of its detriment as it rules Aquarius. Any planet opposing it from Aquarius will also be ruled by Uranus and this the opposition would be softened as the planet’s ability to damage will be limited by the fact that Uranus is also its ruler, its boss. Mercury, however, the trickster that he is, sits right outside Uranus’ domain in the last degree of Capricorn and answers only to Saturn so he can do all the damage he wants.

Still, if we’re counting the checkmarks on the list of factors given above, the evidence in the chart is quite scarce so far…. Until we find Neptune in the beginning of Scorpio turning a simple opposition into a formidable configuration of T-square which is much more potent and tense. Placed in fixed signs it makes the problem described by the T-square chronic, a lifelong struggle (by his own admission he started drinking at 13 and it remains to be seen if he has beaten it yet by now, at the age of 64). 

Further inspection shows that Mercury here is not so simple and rules the 12th house of self-undoing. So a T-square with Neptune afflicting both the 1st and the 12th houses as well as the 12th house ruler opposing a weak planet in the 1st house. This  piles the evidence high and we move on to the next exhibit, I mean, our next case:

Ben Affleck

I mentioned in one of my previous articles that I harbor a seemingly inexplicable dislike for the guy. I call it “allergy”. I’ve just always had this strange aversion to seeing him on screen in any role no matter how good the acting was (mind you, I don’t deny his acting skills). Seeing his name on the list of famous people struggling with alcohol problems kind of made me soften up a bit and check out the chart to see if he’ll qualify for the article in terms of being a good and clear example from an astrological point of view. Looking at his chart also shed some light at my inherent aversion: while that Venus right on the ASC  might contribute to him being dubbed “Sexiest Man alive” by People magazine way back in the early 00’s, for me personally it is placed in the 12th house and in a square to placements in my chart that describe what I find attractive. BTW, an opposition doesn’t work like that as the opposites often tend to attract but the square definitely does the job and it is useful to remember in synastry analysis.

Anyway, let’s get back to Ben and his Natal Chart. Born August 15th, 1972 at 02:53 in Berkeley, CA, USA (source Astro-Databank). See the chart below.

Afflicted Moon in Water sign – check. Moon is in fall in Scorpio and it has a square from Mercury which rules the 12th house. This very same aspect gives a second check for a negative connection of the 12th house with the 1st house as his Moon rules his ASC.

Another aspect is Mars square Neptune and this one is the reason his chart did eventually get picked for demonstration. You see, it’s easy to sort of blend the first and the second items on the list  of placements I have indicated at the beginning and start looking only for Mars or Moon afflicted by Neptune or Jupiter in Water signs… no, they are two separate criteria:

1) afflicted Moon or Mars in a Water sign (afflicted not just by Neptune or Jupiter)

2) Moon or Mars afflicted by Neptune or Jupiter (in any sign)

So Ben’s Mars in Virgo still qualifies. As I understand from  reading his wiki page the struggle is ongoing with some periods of staying sober and a recent relapse in 2018-2019. What caught my eye though is another section speculating about his involvement in gambling. I have recently written an article on trading which also involves the element of risk and 5th house being a factor in the analysis. If we look at Ben’s chart for possible constructive use of aspects and an outlet for the conflict leading to alcohol abuse, we notice that both the Moon and Neptune are in the 5th house and the Moon has a trine to Venus which rules the 5th house (and also the 2nd house of money). Not enough 8th house involvement shifts the focus from stock trading to pure gambling and positive aspects ensure that this is likely to be lucrative. However, due to accusations of counting cards he was banned from casinos and poker games… and the channel for positive energy output was blocked. I mean, gambling addiction is also an addiction but for him it could have had much less severe consequences because a) there is no damage to health b) he’s got enough money to waste it in a poker game if he wants to c) actually not all of it is waste as his chart clearly suggests gains from gambling.

Ok, we’ll leave Ben alone and move on to one of the saddest stories among the 5 that I have chosen for this blog entry (and I left a happy-end story for the end).

Robin Williams

Who tragically took his own life after battling depression and addiction. In mid-2014, just a few months before the suicide, Williams admitted himself into the Hazelden Foundation Addiction Treatment Center in Minnesota, for treatment for alcoholism.

He was born July 21st, 1951 at 13:34 in Chicago, IL, USA. The chart is given below:

This far into the article you can already give it a try yourself and find all the placements before I list them for you. There are plenty, I mean, this is just too much, really. While the chart has its strengths as well (quite obviously, for a star of his scale) the tragedy depicted by the planets makes my Water-heavy chart reach out in compassion to all the tension and torments going on inside this man’s soul.

Let’s start with Mars: afflicted not once, not twice but 4(!) times by squares from Neptune, Jupiter and also by a conjunction with Uranus (bringing unrest and tension). It is not just in Water but in the sign of its fall in Cancer. So it’s like the other 3 are kicking the one who’s already down. Not fair!

This T-square alone is more than enough to give someone more problems than they can handle but then there’s the touchy and gentle Piscean (Water) Moon in a tight opposition with Venus, the ruler of the 12th house. The only positive connection the Moon has is the trine to Mars. Trines indicate help but what help can be given here, considering Mars’ condition? None. Mars in its turn also only has help (harmonious aspects) from the Moon (which can’t give it) and Venus. Venus is not the strongest one here and can only help so much. It rules the 7th house in addition to the 12th, so help can come from other people (spouse, partners, etc) as well as rehab (12th house as the house of hospitals and institutions) but despite being in a strong house it is weak by placement (in fall in Virgo).

If you keep looking you’ll see the ASC (self) ruler Pluto conjunct the ruler of the 8th (death) while that poor  Mars under such pressure is placed inside the 8th and co-rules the ASC… makes me wanna cry.

Well, let’s hope Robin found peace wherever he is now and let’s do the last piece to cheer up and end on an optimistic note

Drew Barrymore

Born on 22 February 1975 at 11:51 at Culver City, CA, USA. See chart below:

Her story of both childhood fame and childhood addiction is presented by the Sun (ruler of the 3rd house of early childhood environment) place in the 10th house of fame in Pisces (here comes the first checkmark on our list) which adds to the heavy accent on Pisces (4 planets) with Black Moon  Lilith (destabilizing factor) in the mix. The Moon is in Watery Cancer, afflicted by Mars and also Saturn, but Saturn is weak in Cancer and the Moon totally  dominates here. This strong Moon is also the reason she was able to win the battle. Similarly to Betty Ford, who had the strong Sun and Venus in the chart to lean on, Drew’s Moon, while under fire, is still a strong planet and is able to handle the attack. Neptune has only harmonious aspects: it is the apex of a very productive bi-sextile from Mercury (ruler of the ASC) and Pluto, ruler of the 6th house of work. With Neptune itself being in the 6th house work was one of the things that pulled her out.

All right, so there you have it. You can practice on other charts now and see if you can spot both the tendency for the problem and the solution for it (through strong placements and harmonious aspects). However, there is another way this information can be put to use. Analyzing the chart which  already exists only helps you to see if the problem is there or not. One of the advantages of knowing astrology is in using it to prevent possible future problems. With modern medical practice increasingly using induced labor (1 in 5 in the UK and over 25% in the US) picking the date of birth and thus the baby’s Natal chart is something more common than it used to be. And picking the date when the factors described in the article are not present in the planetary picture for the day helps to avoid unpleasant issues the child will be facing in their life.

Natural Born Traders or The Not-So-Scary 8th House in Your Chart

It’s no secret that the 8th house has got a bad rep among the learners and practitioners of astrology. Associated with death and power struggles, crises, fears, deeply hidden issues – you name it. Occasionally you can come across an article trying to lighten the gloomy mood  setting of this area of the natal chart and focusing on the connection with transformation, hidden powers, inner strength and so on. Usually those articles come from the astrologers following the evolutionary approach. Now, there is nothing wrong with that as I myself incorporate this approach… when it is appropriate, i.e. when the client is interested in the spiritual potential of their chart.

However, most of the time people are interested in practical and everyday matters. Like, will they have a relationship with the person of interest or how to earn more money. And here we come to another meaning of the 8th house which is almost everywhere mentioned in passing, tossed in with the other “oh-so-scary” meanings. The meaning is “other people’s money” which comes as a consequence of the ‘turning of the chart’ technique: you are the 1st house and your money is the 2nd house. Other people are the 7th house and the 2nd from the 7th (= the 8th) is their money. Occasionally ‘other people’s money’ is explained as ‘loans and grants’ and then there is always ‘taxes’… None of them seem appealing because one has to be rather perverted to enjoy paying taxes and loans are strongly associated with debt and handing over your hard-earned money to the bank to pay the interest on these loans as well.

One possible positive outcome of the 8th house signifying someone else’s money is when it is taken to signify your spouse’s money and this way a well placed 8th house significators with positive connections to your 2nd house could be an indicator of marrying someone who is well-off. But this is where the common  misconception about another house creeps in: the 7th house is more often than not assigned to “the partner” meaning “romantic partner” or “spouse” (probably because of the high volume of marriage and relationships requests in consultations). However, astrologers who work a lot with business ventures know this house also as the house of business partners, competitors or even open enemies, e.g. in court situations. In horaries, the 7th house is the house of any person who does not fit the categories described by the other people-related houses (3rd – siblings and neighbours, 4th – parents, 5th – children, etc).  

In other words, if you go out into the central square or plaza of your city or town and look around  – provided the lockdown is over – you’ll see a bunch of people who are “other people” and thus are described by the 7th house. If you go online and start interacting with someone you have never met in real life – they are also 7th house, not the 11th house (as you might think because they are labeled as “friends” on FB). If you come to a stock exchange in New York, London or Shanghai – you will see a whole lot of 7th housers shuffling around large chunks of what is definitely described by the 8th house – “other people’s money”.

In business astrology the 8th house is not only loans or debts. It is connected with investments, financial and banking sphere, venture capitals and so on. The 8th house is often prominent in the charts of people who succeed in these areas as you shall see below. I will focus mainly on traders but before we get to the Natal charts, let me outline the factors we need to look at:

  1. The 2nd house – the house of your own money and source of income
  2. The 5th house – the house connected with risk (e.g. gambling, sport betting) because trading, no matter how good your strategy is, still remains in the category of risky ways of making money
  3. The 8th house – the house of other people’s money, the money that other people put into the market
  4. The 11th house – the least important but, nevertheless, relevant being the 5th from the 7th (other people’s risks) as well as the house of larger groups of people (as in “all the people trading on the stock exchange”)
  5. In addition to the houses, there are some planets which are natural significators for the profession: Mercury, of course, as the planet of trade and exchange and also Pluto, as the planet strongly connected with  interest (percentage) and the ability to get profits from cash flow, trade turnover, etc.
  6. Part of Fortune (POF) and its dispositor also presents some interest, although, similarly to the 11th house it’s more of an additional factor rather than the main one.

I will start with the guy whose name is familiar even to those who can’t explain the difference between a share and a bond without googling it. 

Warren Edward Buffett, an investor and business tycoon, born 30th August 1930 at 15:00 in Omaha, Nebraska (birth data from Astro-Databank). See the chart below:

In evaluating the earning potential of the individual, their financial standing in life in general we turn to the 2nd house in Aquarius and its ruler Uranus in Aries near the IC. My personal reaction is just ‘“meh” – I mean, this isn’t the superstar of the chart for sure. Not strong by the sign, retrograde, only harsh aspects… Maybe we’ll have more luck with the vice-ruler of the 2nd house – Saturn? Indeed, here it’s starting to pick up a little. Saturn is strong in its own sign and in the first house and, despite being retrograde and in a T-square with Mars and Mercury, it also has a couple of nice tight trines from the Sun and Neptune in none other than the 8th house! Much better. 

Incidentally, the Sun also rules his 8th house so that’s our first connection of houses 2-8. Now, Neptune closely conjunct Warren’s Sun could be the reason for his great intuition and vision  in making financial decisions but how come this Sun-Neptune conjunction is not about creative imagination and intuition in other spheres of life, say, writing? Or acting? With that Venus and Libra on the MC surely it is one of things that comes to mind as a career possibility.

Well, his POF in Pisces 3rd house is ruled by that very Neptune in the 8th hinting that his fortunes would be made in areas of life that are described by the 8th house. Venus, being one of the strongest planets in the chart and the significator of career and highest achievement (MC), also rules the 5th house which is another tick on our checklist. In addition, Venus has only one aspect – with Pluto (percentage), the ruler of the 11th house (other people’s risk). The 2nd house ruler is also connected with Pluto, ruler of the 11th. We have come full circle. With Mercury highlighted here as the apex of the T-square and thus being the focal point of the energy outpouring we have a great example of how the 8th house is playing out nicely and constructively in this person’s chart.

Let’s look at another trader who’s well known in the financial circles: W. D. Gunn. The opening paragraph of the Wikipedia article describes him as “a finance trader who developed the technical analysis methods like the Gann angles and the Master Charts……forecasting methods are purportedly based on geometry, astronomy and astrology, and ancient mathematics.” Yup, you read it right – astrology.

The father of astro-trading was born June 6, 1878 at 10:34 in Lufkin, Texas (source Astro-Databank). See the chart below.

Ok, so here the eye goes immediately to that Pluto smack at the top of the chart, in a partile conjunction with MC. Strong Pluto – check. It also rules POF – two birds with one stone! Nice.

With Leo ASC he has both 2nd and 11th houses ruled by Mercury which is also not far from Pluto and the MC in the 9th house shifting the focus on the studying, researching and leaving the serious legacy in the form of knowledge, methods and systems. I’ll just take a minute to appreciate Uranus on the ASC and his connection with astrology (as something unconventional). I mean, even the Wiki article has a few paragraphs about his trading techniques with the use of planetary configurations! Yay for astrology!

His 5th house ruler Jupiter is not as pumped – in Aquarius in the 6th and retrograde, but nevertheless connected by an aspect of square to Neptune which rules the 8th. His chart is quite rich on squares, by the way, which shows it must have been a bumpy road to success but any connection is better than no connection at all.

The final touch here would be a sextile (at last – a harmonious aspect!) from Mars in the 11th to Mercury, which is a connection of houses 2-11 (with the 9th house flavour).

Let’s move on to another trader-astrologer but don’t be in a hurry to accuse me of favouritism. Yes, he’s another astrologer and that’s why I can find his birth data (and thus, the house cusps) with no problems. As you might have guessed, astrologers tend to take care to note  these kinds of things knowing full well how useful it will be for the generations to come.

Anyhow, I give you Bill Meridian – financial astrologer, designer of astro-market software and author of several books, including “Planetary Stock Trading”. Born 25 April 1949 in Weehawken, NJ, USA (source Astro-Databank). See the chart below.

Jupiter conjunct Part of Fortune in the first house by itself is an indicator of some potential for wealth and financial success in any Natal chart, especially if there are no major afflictions. Then there’s  Pluto on the cusp of the 8th in Leo (largely considered the sign of its exaltation) giving power and access to deep financial currents in the world of investments and dealing with other people’s money.

Let’s quickly go around the chart to confirm the other relevant house connections: (quickly, because I have one more chart to show you guys and I’m sensing you’re getting tired here, as the article stretches on and on)

  1. Ruler of the 2nd and the Part of Fortune is Uranus, at the top of the bisextile from Saturn in the 8th and Mars, the co-ruler of the 11th. Saturn also co-rules the 2nd, so that also counts as the 2-8 connection.
  2. Pluto in the 8th is the ruler of the 11th
  3. The Sun rules the 8th and is conjunct Venus, ruler of the 5th. They both have a trine to Saturn although it is quite wide but we can still count it as an additional factor, extra points to throw on top of other strong placements. 

So, once again – not one or two, but multiple connections here, making the themes of these 4 houses important in the life of an individual as well as strongly connected with the way a person earns money (2nd house).

Finally, I want to present the chart of Martin Frankel. He caught my eye while I was looking for the cases to present in this article not only as a trader with the known birth time but also as a contrast to the men above. Martin is a financial criminal who conducted a series of investment frauds in the late 20th century, causing hundreds of millions of dollars in losses. Interestingly enough, he was also familiar with astrology and used it to make trading decisions among other things. His evidence files contain a horary chart for the question “Will I go to prison?” cast in 1999 five months before he was captured. I wonder if it ever occurred to him to look for the answer in his own Natal chart and transits, but we will not get into this now.

He was born on 21 November 1954 at 20:46 in Toledo, Ohio, USA (birth data from Astro-Databank). See the chart below:

Well, you know the routine now  and if you want to practice – go ahead and find the connections yourself. Don’t cheat and peek into the answers below! I know, the eyes kinda drift to the answers involuntary so I’ll make it harder for you… or easier, if we’re looking at it from the perspective of resisting the temptation to just look at the answers rather than find them yourself.

Let me first point out some placements that steer him into taking the wrong approach in following the right direction. Yes, he has plenty of indicators for making money from the stock market, insurance and so on. The question of honesty and trickery, the temptation to engage in shady activities is connected with several other things in the chart. As always, I urge everyone not to make judgements based on just one placement – it is always seen as a combination of factors and even then, it is just the potential which a person can overcome, if they try hard enough. So if you find a placement similar to your own or someone you know – don’t jump to conclusions about honesty or dishonesty based only on that one factor.

Well, Mercury as the planet of mind and thinking would be one of those factors. His Mercury is tightly conjunct Black Moon Lilith which is something we don’t see in other charts. Additionally, Mercury rules the 12th house of hidden, secret (aka criminal) activity and this is adding weight to the side of the scale that contains negative factors.

Jupiter is another planet that has to do with honesty and morality, with the questions of right and wrong. Retrograde Jupiter in itself is not an indicator if it doesn’t describe our personality in the chart. However, in his case retrograde Jupiter is the planet of the first house (house of self). Exaltation in Cancer just gives an exaggeration to the mode of expression here and the trine to the Sun allows for further ease in embracing whatever Jupiter represents in his chart . Also, trines are prone to taking the path of least resistance. All of this happening alongside the generational Neptune-Uranus square but for Frankel this becomes about personal misguided actions with Natal Moon next to Neptune and the other side of the square in the 1st house so close to the ASC.

Ok, let’s tick the boxes on the thematic (financial) markers:

  1. POF conjunct Pluto in the 2nd
  2. Ruler of the 2nd and of the POF – the Sun – in the 5th
  3. Ruler of the 5th (Pluto) in the 2nd in aspects to the elements of the 8th (Mars) and the 5th (the Sun). Mars co-rules the 5th, the Sun rules the 2nd.
  4. Ruler of the 11th Venus is in the 5th, detriment and fully subdued to that  messy Lilith-flavoured conjunction of Mercury (the 12th house ruler) and Saturn (rules the 7th, co-rules the 8th) leading to being quite successful (in view of other factors in the chart) in cheating (12th) other people (7th) out of their money (8th) on a large scale (11th house as the house of large groups of people).

Alrighty then! As you can see, the connections of houses 2-5-8-11 in the Natal chart can be a strong indicator of being successful in trading, investing and otherwise making a living from managing other people’s money provided it is managing you’re doing not pocketing, cheating and defrauding as out last exhibit.

Funny (but Offensive!) Horoscope: The Dirty Truth About Each Sign. Part 2.

Part 1 can be found here

LIBRA

Briefly – a damn aesthete. Can’t make up their fucking mind about anything and like to go on about Picasso-Shmicasso and  “Oh, Holy art!” yet they can’t be bothered to take the trash out of the house when it’s full.  All their adult life they run around in search of the bright ideal and so they can’t find time to learn how to cook or sew buttons. Libras like to dress up meanwhile annoying the hell out of everyone around choosing between tha-a-a-t one with pearl buttons and thi-i-i-s one with silk stitching. They don’t mind sleeping around even if they have a permanent partner and explain their infidelity by the fact that in their heart they’re always true to the One and the body is just the fetid dust of being and doesn’t mean anything. 

All-in-all these bastards are chasing the peace of mind that’s so important to them but is basically unattainable because their slutty nature always outweighs the highly spiritual ideals. Like all indecisive fuckers they often suffer from nervous diseases like psoriasis and gastritis. Envious, but not malicious. Libras tend to stick their ass out for someone and do it solely out of masochistic love for humanity, not with the goal of getting something out of it. They usually look gentle and sad and tend to awaken a dangerous desire to caress them and take under your wing which should not be done under any circumstance because Libras can brain-fuck you harder than all the other signs combined. They are in a constant state of cognitive dissonance between reality and wishful thinking because they’re suckers.

SCORPIO

The sex-terrorist. When there’s no one to fuck they start brain-fucking, usually themselves. They’re constantly gushing with all sorts of delusional ideas, narcissistic to the point of shitting themselves, and are ready to stare into the mirror at their reflection all day long with a tender smile stating that there is definitely no one more beautiful in the world. Hysterical, and somehow do not hesitate to flaunt it. Their only interest in life is  fucking and their own precious selves… well, in some cases they show interest in people who are interested in them. Good-natured, if you don’t try to borrow money from them. By the way, they love money almost as much as they love themselves and know how to earn it. 

These bitches are super-secretive. Getting information out of Scorpio that they don’t want to divulge is almost as difficult as marrying off a fifty-year-old virgin. These two-face assholes are constantly thrashing about choosing  between high ideals and the desire to play a rotten trick on someone. In their desire and ability to break through a brick wall with their forehead Scorpios can only be compared with Aries. Often they choose the same stupid goals but do not give up out of principle. They stoically endure all the shit that permanently happens to them because they know  they deserved it. In general, they give off an impression of a terrible, loud, menacing and formidable creature but deep down they’re white, soft and fluffy.

SAGITTARIUS

Sagittarius is another zodiac clusterfuck. The personal opinion of a Sagittarius is bound to become the ultimate truth for everyone who happens to be nearby. They express it willingly, often, and even when they are strongly advised not to do so and are threatened to be hit in the face for it. They are genuinely perplexed if people take offense at them for this.

In general, these bitches are a very lucky sign in life which does not compensate for the constant lack of money. Sagittarius, despite their tendency for incessant verbal diarrhea, usually has a lot of friends who are keeping them, the poor things, fed and warm. And all this because they know how to deftly pretend to be a kitty-cat, especially when their mouth is busy with food. Their main drawback is that they can not shut up telling everyone the truth about everyone and sometimes get carried away for which, again, they often get beat up. They are prone to all forms of drug addiction as well as religious fanaticism, which is essentially the same thing. They’re kind but you can never tell it right away.

CAPRICORN

At first glance – miserable shit (C). Capricorn’s motto is “No matter how fucked up it was today, tomorrow will probably be even worse”. These bitches keep the cheerful mask on so as not to get in trouble for being so grim but all the same they do (get in trouble). Capricorn comprehends happiness in only one way – they work like hell. An idle Capricorn is a dead Capricorn. If they are not able to work, they will still come up with a lot of strange things to do because without work Capricorn can not achieve Zen, and a Capricorn who does not achieve Zen is a Cancer. Do you really want that?

In the beginning they seem meek and even tame but at the first convenient opportunity they will ram their gnarled horns right up your ass and they will do it with special pleasure if you are a Gemini or a Leo – they can not stand  these signs for inappropriate playfulness. Capricorn is a smart-ass. Stingy – but not always. They feel best when they’re hugging a money bag. They like to tease and pick on people and don’t stop even when the situation gets hot but they do the picking so well that the fuckers are surprised themselves when they manage to get away with it. In general, they’re not that evil although they definitely look it. When choosing partners, they’re guided mostly by common sense and calculation so in family life these jerks are happier than anyone else.

AQUARIUS

Special features – everyone, well, absolutely every scum likes them as if they’re made of gold. When it comes to chatter they’re a worthy competition for the Gemini. They’re  eager to communicate, even in an unfamiliar company, like a sailor after a long voyage is eager to get to the red light district. They always have the look of someone who fell out of a tree and this is what fascinates others. Aquarius has the slight flair of being fucked-up in the head and their inexplicable charm attracts crowds of silly enthusiastic fans. Even if everything goes through the ass in the life of Aquarius, they manage to give out advice to others and some-fucking-how the advice works! 

With all the visible and tangible fluffiness and awesomeness they are potentially great criminals. Aquarius is always a con artist even if only in their dreams. There is no Aquarius without criminality in their dark and shadowy past. They break the law without any remorse and even, I’m not afraid of this word, with pleasure. At the same time, these bitches understand perfectly well unlike, for example, Gemini that it is not kosher to do so but they don’t give a fuck. They look like a cross between the Mad Hatter and Marilyn Monroe.

PISCES

There are two types of the Fish: the devils straight out of hell who have become blinded by their own unscrupulousness, and the angels who are faithful, truly kind, with unshakable morals. And the vile kind of Pisces, as a rule, is  forgiven for everything they do, while the angelic martyr Pisces irritate others with their unattainable holiness and sanctity. 

They can sleep around so much it is scary but to catch them in the act or make them admit to it is harder than to see a wrinkled dogfish. Until the very last moment, you will look into her honest, tearful eyes and keep believing. Pisces are soulless assholes with no moral principles. They tend to bullshit everyone even when there seems to be no need to thicken  the fog and mislead people but you don’t feel offended for this as Pisces have terrible pangs of conscience. 

This is a common thing for them and sometimes their conscience tortures them even for what they did not do. They tend to idealize people and afterwards resent them for being assholes. They can suddenly start taking revenge on the world around them in an abstract and fucking idiotic way. It is touching to see them live in their illusions and even when they turn out to be scum and douchebags  they are still unwittingly forgiven for their utter inability to live in our material world.

Funny (but Offensive!) Horoscope: The Dirty Truth About Each Sign. Part 1.

Before we get to the dirt I promised to you guys in the clickbait-y title there are a few disclaimers I need to make:

Disclaimer #1. I am not the author of the original text. The author is, unfortunately, unknown and this text has been circulating the ru-net since the early 00’s as a sort of new-age folklore. I am, however, the author of the translation you’re about to read. I’ll do my best to  keep to the original whimsical style (not so difficult as it is close to my own) and the use of the profanity (slightly more difficult as English is my second language after all).

Disclaimer #2. As the title clearly states, much of what is said about each sign is offensive… or can be taken as offensive by people with severe humor deficiency. So if you don’t think you can stomach some home truths about your sign in an exaggeratedly caricature manner and heavily seasoned with dirty words – this is your chance to surf away to something more agreeable. 

Disclaimer #3. This is just the basic undiluted sign archetype descriptions. Unless you were born with a 7-planet stellium in the same sign, chances are you have a mixture of energies. So checking out the big three (Sun-Moon-Rising) is a good idea or maybe, if you know you chart well enough, you can check out the signs that are strongly emphasized in your Natal Chart.

Calendar vector created by wannapik – www.freepik.com

Ok, if you’re still with me so far, here it comes:

ARIES

A Ram is a Ram. They’re always right and don’t give a fuck. It is easier to kill them immediately than to start arguing with them because it is only possible to win an argument with an Aries in one case – if they’re blind, deaf and mute with no arms or legs (and even then, there is a huge chance they will still find a way to flip you off). But Aries are honest. Sometimes they are so honest that it makes your teeth ache: they will answer very honestly if your haircut doesn’t suit you or your dress makes you look fat. There is nothing you can do about it, you will have to accept it (or kill them, as mentioned above).

In household affairs, Aries is usually useless – they can only generate brilliant ideas and try  not to defile the soles of their feet with the drudge of menial daily existence. However, if you somehow convince Aries that Sagittarius washes the floors better than them – they will work their fingers to the bone polishing  your hardwood floor every Saturday because there is not a thing in the world that Aries would let Sagittarius be better at.

Aries is never boring – this sign has some karmic fucking talent to find adventures for their beautiful ass. They earn money easily and quickly but as proud and principled types they hate the moolah so they try to get rid of it immediately. At the same time these bitches always have some money stashed away which is actually much more becoming or appropriate for a Virgo. Because of the unfathomable carelessness they usually forget about the stash which is great for the heart friend of Aries, especially if this friend is a Gemini.

TAURUS

Taurus is fucked up and I have nothing more to say about this sign. Much more stubborn than Aries, but does not have Aries’ charming carelessness. Big time hoarders, they’re able to lovingly store all the useless shit in their house for centuries and are very surprised when someone tries to throw away all these broken transistor receivers, ball bearings, rags, waste paper, and other trash. They’re very persistent in their attachments, including shitty people which, alas, makes them unhappy in love.

Also, they’re suspicious to the bone, jealous as a bitch, never an innovator and so at first glance they come off as a sad asshole. Secret perverts, they love fucking to the point of losing their pulse. Distrustful of new people but for old friends they will tear their last calico shirt off their back and hair off their ass. What the fuck those friends are supposed to do with a torn shirt isn’t something they’re able to think of to begin with. Altruistic, even though they always get punched in the face for it.

GEMINI

Gemini are very cool if it is just one and quite a clusterfuck if they are at least two of them. Can chinwag without stopping for at least three days and never once repeat themselves which is generally fun but sometimes is tiring. Everyone is usually jealous of them because they are jack of all trades  and try to apply themselves to anything and everything. To put it simply, they’re sticking their nose in every (butt)hole they can find. But no one knows how difficult it is for Gemini to survive and make choices in this huge world of opportunities – they always think that life is passing them by even if they’re ears-deep in shit in events. They like to fuck, eat and get new information – best if it’s all happening at the same time. For this, they’re known as perverts, although in fact, it just saves time.

They’re phenomenally lazy, ninety percent of the turbulent activity unfolds only in order to be finally left the fuck alone. Generally come off as a scatter-brained imbeciles, although in fact they’re not that dumb and don’t mind reading Kant and Kierkegaard when occasionally they take a break from jerking around (this reading is often accompanied by idiotic giggling and interjections like “er-r-r” or “um-m-m..” which actually looks pretty cute because only Gemini can find any humor in Kierkegaard’s works). Sentimental as a cheap port whore, they believe in romance although they constantly disown it and defiantly grin teeth at those who talk about it. In love they’re usually unhappy (and I want to say – because they believe in romance) because the only one who’s capable of enduring Gemini’s constant extravaganza of idiotic fun and fun idiocy is Aries. However, there is not enough of those shitheads for all of Gemini.

CANCER

I might sound biased but IMHO there is no sign worse than Cancer. Cancers are suspicious schmucks constantly bothering everyone with questions like: “If I sit in the hot tub after Pedro Francesco Dickheado, who of course jerked off under the water to my luminous image, will I get pregnant?” Meanwhile, they are absolutely unbothered by the fact that they do not have a hot tub and they’re a man. 

Cancers tend to constantly imagine the end of the world, get scared of their own imagination, get hysterical and turn to Virgo for comfort. Squeamish as a scum, they will surely die from hunger on a deserted island because Cancers are physically unable to eat a product which is not wrapped in plastic and which is lying, say, under a palm tree.

They like to fuck but somehow without any vigor to it. However, if they want to, they can give it some heat but afterwards they eat themselves up with shit for trying so hard in vain. Cancer women are the kind who watch porn with the hope that in the end everyone will definitely get married. They like to talk gloomily and at length on the topic of their own sores and other life failures, which scares away everyone but Taurus – they are even more tedious in matters concerning one’s own bodily functions. Cancers are loyal because they are afraid of chlamydia and trichomoniasis. They are prone to drunkenness and philosophy, yet both of those things don’t do them any good.

LEO

Leos divide people into two categories – the retinue, who are allowed into the inner circle, and the lackeys, who are used for sharpening claws and teeth. Selfish, certainly, but Leo’s selfishness is usually forgiven because of their holy and unwavering faith in their own ‘fucking awesome’-ness. They are suckers for flattery so you can use it to get anything you want out of a Leo. Generous and do not mind laughing at themselves. Everyone else should refrain from making fun of the Lion if you don’t want to spend the remaining hours of agonizing existence in the intensive care with a stake up your ass. Boorish, but elegant. Capable of trampling anyone up to their ears in poop, which they sometimes do out of pure curiosity and idiotic childish desire to see what will happen.

Leos want to be masters in everything. They make it very clear to their partner just how much un-fucking-believable luck and happiness came to them in the form of a Leo and demand to be treated appropriately. They do not mind if in everyday life they are addressed simply as “Almighty”. However, they are loyal friends and like to give expensive and valuable gifts to once again make everyone imbued by their majesty and grandeur. They like to eat, sleep and blabber and because of that are often friends with Gemini. Unbearable in large quantities if you are a Virgo, Cancer, or Pisces.

VIRGO

What can I say about this sign when the dry science has already said everything for me? Virgo is the most fucking cruel and inhumane sign of the zodiac. According to international statistics, most psychopathic  maniacs are Virgos. Those bitches are able to smile at you affectionately and in their head draw a delightful picture of your guts wrapped around a chandelier. 

I’ll tell you one secret – all little Virgos plan to become the Dark Masters of the Universe since childhood, and when they grow up and realize that they have fucked up, they become just heartless monstroids and with their pedantry and love of law and order (and this, of course, is rooted in their snotty desires to rule the Universe) they poison the existence of literally everyone who is ‘lucky’ enough to live  on the same territory with a Virgo. A Virgo wife is the kind of woman who makes your bed when you get up to take a piss at three in the morning. A Virgo man is the scariest math teacher you can imagine. Control freaks, of course. They even fuck on a schedule because everything should be in order. They do not explain the reasons for their actions to anyone, the root again lies in their childhood megalomania. 

However, they can fall into the other extreme – not to deem themselves worth a penny and to play a victim and a sacrificial lamb day in and day out which annoys the fuck out of others. By the way, they like to play on the nerves of loved ones in general and they suffer for show in public usually believing in their own suffering which causes them to get sick and wither. In everyday life they are actually useful because they know all sorts of lifehacks (learned while planning to become the Dark Master). All in all, you can live with them if you completely ignore them and remove weapons from the house.

******

Part 2 can be found here

Horary practice: Coronavirus Vaccine.

A friend of mine sent me a Horary chart a few days ago. The question was: “Will a vaccine be found?”. The chart below is cast for the time and coordinates provided by this friend, since he is  astrology-savvy and cast the chart himself. The outer planets are not turned off since in this particular case there is one significant conjunction, but normally I ignore them and judge Horary with septener only.

If you’re familiar with Horary practice – take a minute and try to find the answer in the following:

Horary-Virus

If you’re just starting to learn, I’ll break this down for you:

  1. The virus is the 6th house of health and disease, straight in accordance with the classical rules. The significator is Jupiter (ruler of Sag)
  2. The vaccine should be determined by turning the chart. It is tempting to think of a vaccine as the open enemy of the virus but that would not be in line with the idea of a vaccine. The house of open enemies and opponents does not mean we automatically beat them. In fact, in Horaries about, say, court cases it is often a question of who is stronger – the 1st house ruler (you) or the 7th house ruler (the opponent). If we take that approach and the significator for the virus is stronger ( the medicine is weaker than the virus) than it  can not be called “vaccine”. Vaccine kills the virus, so it’s the death of it. We need to look at the house of virus’ death, which will be the 8th house from the 6th (turning the chart) which means that in this Horary vaccine is shown by the Moon, the ruler of the 1st house (8th house from the 6th).
  3. Before we look at what’s happening with the vaccine, let’s evaluate the state of the disease itself. The 6th house is ruled by Jupiter which is placed in Capricorn (the sign of its fall) and in a cadent house. So while the disease has spread widely (Jupiter) it is not as dangerous (in fall= weak) and doesn’t have the ability to act (cadent house). Capricorn is ruled by Saturn that has affinity with old people, clearly confirming what we know about is so far: widespread, mostly dangerous for old folk, but weak compared to some other recent (as well as historical) epidemics in terms of  fatality rate. It is also placed in the sign where the Moon is detriment, so Jupiter “hates” the Moon = the virus “hates” the vaccine. So far, everything checks out.
  4. The Moon here carries the double load: in any Horary the Moon shows the course of events, how the situation is going to develop. In this particular chart it is also the significator of the thing in question – the vaccine. Either way it is in the sign ruled by Jupiter (remember – only septener in Horary!) so it has no power over it. Quite the opposite, actually – the disease has the power (rules) over the vaccine and over the situation in general. Borders are shut down, streets are empty, people are staying at home during the 2-week social distancing period… Jupiter (virus) rules the Moon (current situation) but is filtered/expressed through a Saturnian sign (borders, limitations, distancing).
  5. The movements of the Moon and the applying aspects it makes show us the development of the events. The Moon is closing in on a sextile with Mars (about 1 degree). In this chart Mars rules the 5th and the 10th houses. The 5th house doesn’t give us much but the 10th house being “the king” aka the government brings our attention to the fact that there is Pluto closely conjunct the planet the Moon is about to contact. Don’t let the 5th house Scorpio fool you – in Horary Pluto is more like an additional significator, like a fixed star. It doesn’t rule houses. But it does signify several things, among which are large scale processes, people in power (government) as well as hidden, secret things. Looks like in about 1 measure of time the vaccine (or at least the first successful trial batch) will be created in government labs somewhere. Which government? That I can not be too sure about, but with the strong Saturn/Pluto/Mars=order/control/military flavor it is likely to be the homeland of the virus – China. 
  6. What happens next? There are no other aspects till the end of the sign, but that end is pretty near. Just over 6 degrees (6 and 1/3). The change of sign in Horary always signifies the change of the situation. In addition, in this particular case the vaccine will leave the sign where it is ruled (overpowered) by the virus and will go into the sign where it is ruled by Mars (=controlled by the government). So we can expect the vaccine to appear about 6 measures of time from now (end of March).
  7. Now, comes the most difficult (for me) part of judging. Which measures of time? Days, weeks, months, years? With the nature of the house (cadent) and the sign (mutable) of the applying planet (the Moon) suggesting the “medium-fast” type of units we can eliminate “days” or “years” being too fast and too slow. It is tempting to think that “months” would be shown by both a sign and a house from the “medium speed” category (I am still hoping to be able to travel this summer) but the scale of the question begs to differ. This is a question of a grand scale and in terms of the world and history (for example, how fast the vaccines for pox or cholera or Spanish flu had been created) 6 months from now (and just under a year from its appearance) is actually pretty fast.
  8. P.S. Even though Horary usually only deals with the houses that have to do with the question itself and it is not advisable to go meandering through the other ones to avoid confusion, I do love noticing things like the 3rd house of information and the 12th house of misinformation being ruled by the same planet – Mercury in fall and detriment in the panicky Pisces. It figures…

 

Horary judgement: the vaccine will be available for mass production and use around October 2020.

Additional details: it is likely to be first tried/tested in late April – early May 2020. Quite possibly China will be the country to create the vaccine.

Signs, bitch! Astrological archetypes of Breaking Bad characters.

Breaking Bad - Astro Flame

Spoilers ahead!

 

Better Call Saul season 5 has just premiered and, as I am bracing myself for the long-forgotten experience of watching one episode per week (argh, the wait!), I decided to kill some of the torture waiting time with my favorite game of matching the characters with the astrological archetypes aka signs. There will be no deep digging and no detailed analysis – only the general feel of the character and the Zodiac energy it corresponds to. After all, this is just a popular astrology article as I want to keep my audience as wide as possible (and I leave the deeper analysis for the consultations).

Without further ado let me start with the learn’d chemist himself:

cast_bb_700x1000_walter-white-lg

Walter White – Capricorn

Eyes firmly fixed on the goal The Goat is always climbing up and up until the goal is reached. Strategically and unyieldingly as is befitting to an Earth sign ruled by Saturn, he is not averse to making some quick decisions on the spot when circumstances require which is in line with the cardinal modality of Capricorn.

There is a tremendous drive and ambition present in Walter, of course stifled and buried at first, but slowly emerging in the course of the first season. Capricorn is associated with social achievement and recognition, mastery, work and career. All these things are clearly important to Walter, as he is frustrated every time he is denied any of the above in situations like:

1) The Gray Matter. Yes, the financial aspect is also on his mind, but not being recognized as a creator of the company is just as important to him.

2) The donations (money laundering) via Junior’s web-site. That one’s bugging him even more. A missed opportunity due to pride and youthful recklessness is one thing. Now, he is a 50-year-old who has finally achieved success by applying his skills and has something to show for it. Yet, he is forced to hide it and appear to the wider world as a helpless chemistry teacher who has to accept charity for his cancer treatment. A major mood-killer for a Capricorn.

3) The need to hide the wealth. Social status is also a sensitive spot for Walt. Unlike Gus Fring, he’s not content with appearing humble, driving a Volvo and wiping down tables while sitting on bags of cash. Again – while having the money is important, it is not enough. His knowledge that it was his earnings for his masterful performance and not donations is not enough. He’s yearning for recognition of his achievement.

Another thing about Capricorns is that the goal is always shifting, since a Capricorn without a goal is extremely miserable and depressive. Just as the original one is reached, another one is set and the climbing continues. So making $700,000 is just a pit -stop and retiring to be a car-wash owner is a delusion. Peaceful and placid life is for Taurus. Capricorns need to keep climbing higher and higher until a miscalculated step finally brings them peace… at the bottom of the cliff.

b17cbb31-c36d-4b7a-8dfd-59cf10cb711d

Jesse Pinkman  – Cancer

I know, I know, it’s cliche-ish. Opposites attract, yin-yang, complimentary energies… Well, guess what? There is really nothing new under the Sun. Or on the ecliptic, for that matter. And Jesse having a Cancerian energy about him is a universally perfect way to display his radical difference from Walter.

He is quite an emotional type and unlike Mr. White he can not just focus on the goal and use it to justify the means. He might have had more street knowledge in the beginning of their journey and appeared to be a better fit for the business this unlikely duo was getting into but pretty soon it became obvious that climbing the career ladder of the drug business is not his cup of tea. Jesse’s too sensitive for that.

Cancer is the sign associated with nurturing, mothering and family. There are several incidents where this side of Jesse shows distinctly: he had nursed his dying aunt, he’s unusually caring and impartial to children who aren’t his (or related to him) and the one and only time he murders someone is when there is no other possible way to protect Mr. White who’s almost like family to him by then. And that murder sends him into a much deeper and longer depression than Walter White’s first murder had sent him – after all, as a water sign he’s much more attuned to the emotional world. With Cancer’s essence being about nurturing and caring, hurting someone does inflict the psychological wound which Jesse kept on picking rather than focusing on that goal, like Walter did.

MV5BY2Q5ZTFiZGYtZTkwMS00ODQwLWIyN2UtOGYyZjlhNWZkYTQ0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjc5Mjg0NjU@._V1_UY1200_CR585,0,630,1200_AL_

Gus Fring – Scorpio

This one is a no-brainer, for sure. An immensely powerful presence and energy lurking under quite average and commonplace facade. Gus might have lost to the unstoppable locomotive of a man Mr. White, but he got to his position of power by carefully manipulating the events, by knowing when to crouch back, sit quietly and wait for the right moment to strike the deadly and very accurate blow.

Holding a grudge is something Scorpios are infamous for. Of course, depending on the chart and the person, they may choose not to act on it, not to seek revenge or even waste their time on being angry with you. But they will always remember, trust me. Always.  It’s just that Gus chose to pay back with interest to Hector Salamanca and everyone else involved in his partner’s murder and waiting all those years was, actually, an important ingredient to the dish that Scorpios like to serve ice-cold.

Mike_2004

Mike Ehrmantraut – Taurus

Taurus is a fixed Earth sign and the difference in modality is a large contributor to their difference with Capricorn, who are restless because of the dynamic cardinal energy. The Earth element keeps them both rational and grounded, concerned with practical results, rather than emotional realm (unlike Fire or Water), but the fixed mode of Taurus produces a calm, placid, deliberate and paced people. They’re never in a rush in contrast with their preceding sign of Aries. They like to contemplate things and don’t waste words. They’re simply imperturbable. Uhm… What is Mike Ehrmantraut? 

Practically anything he does – from walking with his granddaughter to solving crisis situations to even being killed by Walt – he’s borderline phlegmatic with just a few sprinkles of rage popping up in some extreme cases. But when it all comes to an end, his final words are “Let me die in peace” as he is watching a serene nature scene… oh, yeah, forgot to mention that Taurus is also closely associated with nature. Not that all the other signs don’t like it, but this sign falls on the time of the year when nature is firmly taking root and having its growth spurt after waking up in Aries and enjoying simple life pleasures like the sunshine, the smell of the flowers, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind or the taste of a pimento cheese sandwich is a Taurean energy everyone has in their chart at some level.

better-call-saul-season-4-bob-odenkirk-jimmy-mcgill-saul-goodman-mask-diy_1200x707

Saul Goodman – Gemini

Jimmy McGill – Pisces

I am actually going to do some deeper exploration on this one, since not only Saul was given his own separate show, but also because the prequel reveals a completely different side of him.

In Breaking Bad he radiates Mercurian energy: witty and talkative, quick-minded, full of ideas and information – a classical Gemini rather than a Virgo. He doesn’t bother with any questions of morality, just like the ruler of this sign – the god of  tricksters, thieves and merchants. Morals are left to Jupiter while Saul is quicksilvering his way through the daily influx of tasks most of which somehow end up being about tricking the law.

This is how we first see him, how he comes off to those who don’t know him well personally, which makes me think of a Gemini Ascendant with Sun in Gemini first house thrown in the mix (I mean – these outfits and his general manner of presenting and carrying himself grab one’s attention and hold the spotlight in an unmistakable Leo-like way, but he’s way to mutable to have any serious placements in the actual sign of Leo, so it’ll have to be residual Leo in form of the Sun on the Ascendant).

In Better Call Saul there is a different side of him – Jimmy McGill. Still the trickster, but trying to change, to be a better version of himself, as he’s looking to impress his brother Chuck and his love interest Kim. He’s also tender and caring, making sure Chuck has everything he needs day in and day out, so his sensitive side is more prominent. Looking up to his older brother and as a result trying to change his true nature of a witty trickster who is having fun and enjoying pulling different scams makes me think of Pisces – the sacrifiers of the Zodiac. Pisces can be quite receptive to the point of being submissive and lead on. The general lack of direction is true for all mutable signs, but it is stronger in Pisces due to affiliation with Neptune and its cloudy and hazy ways.

 So when it comes to putting more touches on Jimmy-Saul’s chart, I’m thinking of the Moon and a couple of other personal planets here in Pisces. Not Venus and Mercury, obviously, but even Jupiter and Mars would give him a nice Piscean core as well as creating two major themes in Saul-Jimmy’s chart:

  1. Gemini stellium of the Sun and the entourage in an aspect of square (by sign, if not by degrees) with another stellium in Pisces 
  2. Multiple Gemini-Pisces placements creating a strong imbalance of mutable modality

So Jimmy is always torn and always swinging between the desire to do the right thing, to live up to the ideals and be of service to people (Pisces) and the drive to exercise his wit and develop his mental abilities in a more fun and stimulating way (Gemini).

Oh, and as I was typing his real last name at the beginning of the section, it hit me that it is actually quite fishy, if you know what I mean. So I take it as a sign that my guesses are right. 

 

Now, it feels like I have been writing forever, why in the hell is it not next week yet? I want my fix next episode!

***

If you liked this post, please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi https://ko-fi.com/astroflame

Riding the wave: Astrological analysis of the 2019 Joker.

A couple of months ago I wrote an article about the astrological archetypes of the Joker and Batman in Christopher Nolan’s version of these iconic comic book characters (read article here). I have wanted to write it for a long time, but didn’t get around to doing it until mid-August, a few weeks before Todd Phillips presented his take on the green-haired clown you wouldn’t want to invite to your kid’s party. This new film has created a tremendous resonance and the cyberspace is now flooded with reviews and discussions as well as comparisons. These comparisons are divided into two types: either reviewing all Joker portrayals from the dawn of ages (and by the dawn of ages I mean the 60’s, when hippies were still roaming the world) OR it is just comparing the two most impressive ones (Heath Ledger’s and Joaquin Phoenix’s) in many cases taking sides and giving reasons why one or the other is the best Joker in the author’s opinion.

New-Joker-Movie-640x456

I am going to mention Ledger’s Joker today, too, but with no intention to hand out “The Best Joker” plaque at the end. I don’t have a fixed idea of what the Joker is or should be like. On the contrary, I love seeing the same thing being approached and interpreted from a different perspective, so as long as all the other components are well-executed, I am open-minded and willing to consider new ideas. These two Jokers are equally excellently written and played and they are also as different as they are amazing. Comparing them for the purpose of choosing an absolute leader is like comparing something soft with something yellow – they’re in different categories and you just can’t do that. Similarly, the psycho-astrological archetypes depicted are different. As different as two signs that come one after another. If you are familiar with elements, polarities and modalities, you know where I’m taking this. If not – don’t worry, I’ll try to put it in layman’s terms as I go. In any case, I’ll be referring to Ledger’s Joker as a means of contrast and comparison of the two Zodiac signs and planetary energies that these two embody.

I have defined the 2008 Joker as Aquarian/Uranian type. “The Dark Knight” was about the battle of two minds – an anarchist vs a capitalist, a radical and rebellious Aquarian against the authority and centralized power of Leo. The 2019 Joker has no ideology, doesn’t care about politics and doesn’t believe in revolution. In his own words, he doesn’t believe in anything. Both the character and the film are focused more on the emotional component. From the cerebral and intellectual level of existence of an Air sign we shift to the element of Water which is about feelings. 

This particular change of element brings with it the change of polarity – from positive (masculine, extroverted and externally oriented) to negative (feminine, introverted and internally oriented).  Dark Knight’s Joker is actively interacting with this world, he’s pushing his ideas and manipulating the crowd. Arthur Fleck lives in his inner world, submerged in his dreams and turmoil, making little to no attempt to take action. He wants to be noticed, accepted and loved, he aspires to become a stand-up comic but it doesn’t go beyond writing down jokes and observations on how to be funny in his journal. In fact, it’s not until the Joker starts to emerge after the killings on the subway, that he actually takes the first step and goes to perform in the club. Notably, even this event – the shooting – is a result of external pressure and someone else’s initiative.

Finally, there is a change in modality – Christopher Nolan’s Joker (and Batman) are both fixed signs, they’re firmly fixed in their beliefs and views, so “an unstoppable force meets an immovable object”. Todd Phillips is showing us a man who is constantly trying to adjust in order to fit in. This attitude is typical of the mutable signs – they’re flexible, they try to avoid conflict and go with the flow. They deal with problems by flowing around them or changing direction. All of this is Arthur, up to a certain point.

Thus, if we put these attributes together – polarity, element and modality – it gives us the Zodiac sign of Pisces. And, boy, does this movie scream Pisces! No, scratch that. Fish don’t scream. It’s more like this film is soaked and saturated with Piscean energy to the point where it seeps out of every pore, every frame, every message.

AAGsfrXNeptune

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, a cloud-laden ice giant associated with imagination, inspiration and dreams but also illusion, confusion, deception and delusion. The atmosphere of the planet makes for its mysterious appearance – Neptune is not easy to see as it is hiding behind its misty veil, invoking the above-mentioned associations. This is also true of Pisces – the confusion may happen both in their own head and in the minds of others as they struggle to understand them. So we see this confusion reflected in everything – from Arthur’s words (My whole life I wasn’t sure if I really exist) to his uncontrollable laughter that happens in the most tense, stressful, inappropriate moments, creating a strong cognitive dissonance from the beginning, less than 3 minutes into the movie. We are also taken in by a deception for a good portion of the story, which leaves us doubtful and suspicious towards anything that happens in the end – is the inscription on the back of the picture real? If it is real – was it really written by Thomas Wayne? Was any of it real in the first place, or is it all a fantasy of a sick mind and Arthur had never left the asylum?

The message is reinforced by visual means – Arthur’s constant smoking provides the veil, the Neptunian haze, that blurres the lines of his face , the smokescreen that separates him from the surrounding world. In many frames the use of long lenses results in only Joaquin’s face being in focus while not just the background, but even his shirt is out of focus, unclear, highlighting the idea that the character is staying only in his head and is disconnected from the reality.

joker-movie-poster

Let’s leave Neptune for a while (we’ll come back to it later) and focus on the sign itself. Pisces is a dual-bodied sign. Its symbol is two fish swimming in the opposite direction which is a perfect demonstration of its tendencies and inner conflict. In esoteric tradition, one fish is alive and the other one is dead. And before you question how it is possible for a dead fish to swim, I need to add, that this is a sort of metaphorical shorthand. Both fish are alive, one is swimming towards death though and the other one didn’t sign up for this shit but, oh well, too bad, so sad.

The thing is that Pisces is the last sign in the Zodiac circle, which represents the cycle of life, with Aries being birth and beginning, the fiery life-giving impulse which acquires shape and form in earthy Taurus goes on to develop thoughts and feelings in Gemini and Cancer respectively and on through the social signs and transformation of Scorpio it enters the universal level of the last four signs of which Pisces is ultima thule (pardon my Latin). Pisces ends one cycle of life so that another one can begin. However, in order to incarnate, we need to join the source first and this is what this sign is about – merging with the collective, giving yourself up to the higher power, letting the subjective ego dissolve into the objective psyche. So one fish is swimming to its final destination while the other one is desperately clinging to life, overtaken by the depth of emotion at this level of existence, refusing to let go. 

mustgo

Descartes said “I think therefore I exist”. Good for him. He had zero planets in Water signs and a close Sun-Uranus conjunction, so I see how this statement would ring true for him. Anyone with water-dominated chart knows that they feel and therefore they exist, no arguing about it. Incidentally, that Uranus conjunction sends us back to the cerebral version of the Joker I wrote about 2 months ago. The three outer planets are sometimes connected to the personal planets by being called “a higher octave” or “a higher register” of their energies. Uranus is the higher octave of Mercury, the thinker. In that article I mentioned that unlike Batman, the Joker shows very little emotion. In addition, he’s very eloquent and witty, doesn’t miss a chance to crack a joke and these jokes are funny and come to him with ease. 

Arthur, on the other hand, struggles with both understanding and producing relatable humor, as Mercury is at fall and detriment in Pisces; in non-astrological terms Mercury is not comfortable there. The dreamy and blurred Piscean world is a hostile environment for Mercury which is about analysis, clear thinking and mental, rather than emotional, processes. But Pisces is friendly to another planet – Venus, which is exalted here (and Neptune is the “higher register” of Venus). With its energy of love and compassion Venus expressed through Neptune gives Pisces altruism, devotion, desire to serve others. And Arthur does show these qualities – he’s tender and loving to his mom, he takes care of her and doesn’t see it as a burden. He says about the teenagers that beat him up that “they’re just kids, I shouldn’t have chased them” and even lets Gary, his former co-worker, go despite him being a witness to Randall’s murder.

And these feelings don’t happen only on Arthur’s part – watching his struggle evokes empathy and compassion in viewers, making us all get in touch with the Pisces energy in our chart.  The theme of empathy appears in his monologue at Murray’s show as well, along with the desire to be heard and noticed. At this point I am starting to struggle with organizing and structuring everything that needs to be said, since the Joker’s final statement on the show is just as multilayered and full of deep meanings and undercurrents as the deep and endless ocean, which is another symbol connected with Pisces and Neptune. This was only to be expected, after what I have said above – the confusion, the elusiveness and the almost imperceptible level of existence the last Water sign offers us. I feel like I should start introducing numbers…

  1. Arthur himself struggles to “be heard and noticed” throughout the film. His difficulty is the lack of a clearly defined personality. He has no idea what he is, he yearns to find the “I”. He is the fish that is still trying to hold on to what is familiar, what has been done in the previous 11 stages of the development – expressing oneself through various archetypes. He keeps looking for that one thing all other signs have that they can define themselves by. The other fish is pulling towards merging with the collective and losing oneself in the deep waters of the universal chaos.
  2. The crowds in the streets of Gotham are representative of this collective energy. This connection between Arthur and the masses starts to form when the murders on the subway get public approval – the merging has begun. The sign someone holds up during the protest meeting – “We are all clowns” is a signal to that. On the subtle, intangible level Arthur attunes to this current, the need for change, the dissatisfaction of the people of Gotham with  the injustice and the same desire to be heard and noticed. As this is happening, he is starting to lose his ego – the Joker is born. He doesn’t have a name now, he has nothing to lose or to fear, he has become the other fish… the dead one. Life is suffering, so Arthur suffered. He struggled to fit in and struggled to ascend to the light from the dark bottom he was living at day in and day out. The Joker has shed all that and has now let the collective in. He is the voice of the crowd and Murray’s murder is the first murder that is not personal for Arthur. As he’s yelling out about wanting to be heard to the host, the guests of the show and the TV viewers, it’s not Arthur anymore. Heath Ledger’s Joker was the one to initiate the crowd’s hysteria. Here the chain reaction goes the other way. Up until the last moment Arthur is contemplating suicide and it seems that the decision to kill Murray comes at the very last moment. However, in that moment Arthur is already dead (not physically, of course) and the Joker, who is expressing the collective wishes and desires,  has taken the reins. He is now the dead fish that is riding the crest of a powerful wave, letting the flow take it wherever it may be. A symbol of the uprising but not the moving force behind it. He’s like the hood ornament of a car – recognized but not in charge.

Joker-fish

So Arthur is dead and the Joker is born. There are plenty of mentions of the bathroom dancing scene, which is an obvious demonstration of the alter-ego surfacing for the first time. There is another scene, also notable but more strange and confusing – the scene with the fridge. On the surface it is another clear and expressive metaphor: after the confrontation with Wayne, when Arthur asks for some warmth and gets hurt again, he decides to “freeze” his feelings and buries himself in a cold box which is an allusion to a tomb or a grave. Not so simple if you consider the fact that to fit into this box he has to assume a fetal position, so now it’s a tomb and a womb 2-in-1. To be born anew you have to die first. The cycle has to end before the next one can begin. Astrological code for the last two sentences is yet again “Pisces”.

Since the film itself is quite dark and depressing, the balance of the sign in this particular article is tipped that way, too. After all, “All I have is negative thoughts” is the gist of Pisces’ phrases in like every other astrological meme. Sure, in part this is based on some true tendencies of the biggest worry-warts you could find (as a daughter, sister and a good friend of  three different Pisces, I know this first-hand) . And they’re always listening to the Neptune-FM while never fully present in this brutal and way-too-real-for-their-liking world. But there is also plenty of beauty and enchantment in them. 

Music is another one of Neptune’s domains – Neptune rules trance states and escape from reality, which music readily provides for those who want to experience this without the help of any substances. So, quite appropriately, music is, as Todd Phillips says, “another character in the movie”. It flows in Arthur, it wants to come out. His movements and plastique change as he transforms into the Joker, but it is present in Arthur from the very beginning. Who knows, perhaps if he had listened to his own needs and decided to become a dancer, instead of trying to fit in with his mother’s projections, he could have walked a less bloody road to recognition and acceptance… 

Of course, then we wouldn’t have had this immersive, staggering and breathtaking experience some people went to see twice (for the first time since LOTR… yes, by “some people” I meant myself)… So let’s just be completely honest in our selfish position of not wanting to deprive ourselves of this experience and just thank Arthur Fleck for his self-sacrifice in service to our entertainment ♓

jokerrrr

You complete me: The Batman – Joker axis in Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight”

While there are many adversaries Batman faces both in comics and on screen, the Joker is the one that defines him best by juxtaposition. In every version of the story different authors endow these two with various shades of the traits from the appropriate spectrum (the good guy or a hero vs the bad guy or a villain), yet they still end up as a complementary palette to each other.

juxtaposition

In my search for the next movie character(s) to examine through the prism of astrological archetypes I thought that the somber saga by Christopher Nolan about a hero dethroned and banished would be a suitable choice. It’s always exciting to rediscover the well-familiar characters.

 

The Joker, of course, was an easy pick. Chaotic, radical, shocking, anarchistic and mad as a box of frogs – all these epithets come straight from the list of keywords for Uranus. Without getting too deep into placements, houses and aspects I will simply stick to the general planet-sign association. Uranus rules Aquarius, so this is the tag we’re putting on our never-too-serious guy. Aquarius is independent and unconventional – qualities that can also describe the Joker. He doesn’t want to be part of any organized criminal group and everything from his methods to his looks and manner is as far from normal as I am from getting a Nobel prize in mathematics  (and  I’m not diminishing my math abilities here).

 

But this isn’t the case of solely siding with negative characteristics of a sign or planetary energy. Aquarius under the rule of Uranus is socially oriented (like all Air signs) and looks for ways to contribute to the society. The way is usually found through radical reforms and tearing down the existing structures and boundaries in order to create new ones. The Joker’s eccentric manner leads our neurons down the familiar pathways: crazy equals dangerous equals villain. But if you really break down what is happening in “The Dark Knight”, it turns out that it’s not only for the devilish charm and playful charisma which Heath Ledger gave this version of the Joker that he appeals to us. There is more to this guy, just as there is more meaning to his actions than simply creating chaos for the fun of it (though, “chaos for the fun of it” is the sauce the entire thing is dressed with).

batman2Jokerflip

Let’s take a few steps back and look at the bigger picture of what is going on in Gotham at the beginning of the film:

 

The city is sinking in crime. All the good guys are fighting it – the city officials, the police, Harvey Dent and Batman himself – but with zero effect as the crime rate doesn’t seem to decline whatsoever. The cops are still corrupt, the streets are full of thugs and the Mob is well and thriving. Everything functions just great in this fine tuned mechanism, this system that had been established long before Bruce Wayne lost his parents and decided to try and change the order of things in Gotham. And while it’s quite clear why everyone else can’t put an end to this (cops aren’t superheroes), it is interesting to note that Batman’s efforts to clean up the streets seem to be as productive as raking water uphill. Why? Not for lack of trying, of course, and not even because he is just one person. The reason is that he is also a part of this system. He joined it in “Batman Begins” when the city installed the signal light and accepted him as an unofficial part of the crime-fighting force. The mechanism adjusted to the new part and the status quo remained undisturbed. All the law enforcing action we see is just a veneer. Enter Joker.

 

The guy who wants to see everything burn because the old system can not be adjusted or changed – it needs to be destroyed completely in order to move forward. The guy who self-describes as an “agent of chaos” (very Uranian) and praises chaos for being fair and unbiased (very Aquarian). Well, sure, that’ll get some sympathizers among anarchy-oriented types, but there really aren’t that many out there. Then, how come this particular version of the Joker have gathered a larger crowd of fans than any others? Heath Ledger’s performance is definitely a big part of it, but in addition the Dark Knight’s Joker doesn’t appear to be a senselessly evil one. He’s not a villain just for the sake of being a villain, neither is he driven by personal ambitions or desire for power. He’s a guy with a vision and ideals, a true revolutionary who’s ready to risk his life for the cause (and we see that he often does).

 

Violence is a part of any revolutionary movement but it is only condemned in case the change of power fails, otherwise all the bloodshed is seen as done for the greater good. Besides, if we actually do a body count of people killed by the Joker personally, most of them turn out to be criminals – the ones he robs the bank with or the ones working for the Mob. He blows up a hospital that is completely empty and even lets Harvey Dent point a gun at his head and play a coin toss version of the Russian roulette. So while it appears that he leaves piles of corpses in his wake, he actually doesn’t, and as for Rachael… well, he [quote] “…was locked up in Gordon’s cage the whole time!” Obviously, unlike the corrupt cops who claim to have had no knowledge of what would be done to Harvey and Rachael, the Joker knew. But was he the one to orchestrate all of that? Does he really look like a guy with a plan?

 

From the very beginning you can’t help but wonder at the vast resources he has at his disposal. I mean, sure, he isn’t in it for the money, however, it is unlikely that all of the people who work for him share this principle. And it isn’t just financial resources – the information the Joker has, the level of organisation of all his feats and actions, like the amount of explosives at the hospital, on the two ferries, around Harvey and Rachael – all of this shows that his team is very efficient and has no problem getting access to the necessary items and locations without much trouble and on time. Finally, the Joker himself gives away his true position in the chain during the motorcade chase: “ I like this job!’ – he says – ‘I like it!” This job? As in “I work for someone”? That would explain why he comes in as a powerful player with deep pockets, yet not being the part of the Mob.

 

I should probably steer back to the knight in matte armor before this article turns into “who’s behind the Joker” theory. Gives you guys some food for thought for later (hint – always look for the motive).

UcompleteME222

Anyway, with the Joker being so clearly an Aquarius (at least in my opinion) I took it easy on my brains and followed his clue, since from my personal experience Aquarians do have these higher insights and often stumble upon the truth by force of some divine inspiration. He tells Batman: “You complete me” and this translates into an astrological aspect of an opposition, which is two signs that are polar opposites of each other. Like two sides of the coin, they complete each other and – even though they are different – they are not completely different, being a part of one whole. This means that Batman should be a Leo, so let’s take a closer look to see if we can make the shoe fit.

 

If I had to choose only one word to describe the archetype of Leo, I would probably go for “dramatic”. Leos like attention, which isn’t bad in itself. They are also confident, courageous and natural leaders (all three apply to our subject). They are creative, however, this creativity is to some extent driven by the desire to be in the limelight and win the respect of others. When Bruce gets all negative about the copycats, it raises the first flag. Why so negative? It’s not like the guys are running around in Batman suits and robbing people. They’re inspired and trying to help, but “this isn’t the kind of inspiration” he was hoping for… is it because they are crowding the stage?

 

What about the method he has chosen to clean up the streets of Gotham in loving memory of his parents and his own childhood trauma? There’s a common joke about Batman’s superpower being his money. It is often shown in both Batman Begins and the sequel that not only he has plenty of it but also has many wealthy connections and is sure enough that his sources will never dry up. So sure, that he can buy high-end restaurants on a whim. Seems like there is more than one way to reduce crime and corruption rate, like, oh, I don’t know…giving the money to the city budget to raise cop’s salaries high enough so that the Mob can’t compete? Maybe also sponsoring educational and family programs to lower the number of kids growing up in addiction- and crime-inducing environment? Free rehabs for addicts? I’ve only been brainstorming for two minutes here, I’m sure there are other projects that could have been created and funded… but what is it that they all lack? The flair. The show. The drama.

 

Incidentally, all of the above would be legal ways to achieve the goal. The copycats Batman is so unhappy about are technically increasing the amount of crime in the streets, since they aren’t authorized to assault anyone, including criminals. But neither is Bruce Wayne. As the R-r-r-r-russian prima ballerina Natasha puts it, he is a ‘vigilante who thinks he is above the law’ and since he was successful in taking down Ra’s al Ghul in the previous part, the police are only too happy to shift the load onto him. The light that Gordon installs on the roof doesn’t seem to upset Batman too much, so we understand that secrecy and element of surprise is not his chosen tactic.

 

We could try to justify Batman’s thinking that he’s above the law by the noble motivation as well as the problem of corruption among the police officers, if it only ended there. Leos are confident and authoritative, but can get a little too arrogant at times. While talking to Alfred about the Joker and his reasons, Bruce says: “All criminals are simple” – quite dismissively, as if the moment one breaks the law the uniqueness and complexity of a human being is just zeroed out. With a single exception of him, apparently, since he always conveniently forgets that he isn’t a perfect law abiding citizen either.

 

Perhaps you have noticed by now, that I seem to be sort of pro-Joker and anti-Batman in this little article of mine. No, I’m not. Not really. I happen to have an exact Sun-Uranus trine in my chart and with the Sun placed quite strongly it is not overpowered by Uranus, thus I strongly identify with both energies. Also, having some Leo in my chart, I know how our tribe can be at times (no offence, you guys, y’all know you’re awesome, of course). Any which way, it’s not really the case of one sign being better than the other. Each of the astrological archetypes, if seen as a color, can have a great variety of shades – from dark to light. And each individual chooses their own path, their own actions, which shades to use.

 

The reason the Joker is not as bad as a true villain should be and Batman is not as good as a true hero should be is that this is how they are shown in this film. The title itself – The Dark Knight – in which the key work is “dark” doesn’t refer only to Batman’s outfit. The character is  much darker himself, despite fighting on the good side. He’s much too often unnecessarily violent (to the copycats, to the SWAT and while interrogating the Joker) and concerned with his personal matters (Rachael, of course). He gets emotional, while the Joker stays cool and detached. Yes, the Joker yells and screams and acts crazy, but that’s all for show. If you watch closely, you’ll notice he doesn’t get personal, not one bit. This is another great demonstration of fiery, emotional and dramatic attitude of Leo and cerebral, emotionally withdrawn  Air sign of Aquarius.

 

Finally, if the Joker’s crazy insight on him and Batman being two parts of one whole doesn’t make a respectable argument for some, we can also listen to Alfred, who tells Bruce: “Perhaps, he’s a guy you don’t quite fully understand.”  Being polar opposites does complicate comprehending, but astrologically speaking, this can refer to some other aspects, like quincunx or semi-sextile. Is there something that unites them, just like the two signs of an opposition are united by modality and polarity? It looks  to be the fight for the souls of the people of Gotham, which neither one is able to win hands down yet neither one is willing to give up. Firmly entrenched (as the fixed signs would be) in their own ideas on the subject, they keep going at it all the way till the end of the film, and probably after as well since the Joker doesn’t get killed, only detained. For how long, I wonder (remember the mysterious powerful figure he is likely working for?)……

Canes Atroces OR Astrology of Reservoir Dogs

I have recently purchased John Frawley’s “Horary Astrology Textbook” and I was having a blast while reading it. From the first pages I liked his style and no-nonsense attitude. This article is not a book review but I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone studying astrology.

The textbook is often quoted on forums in threads about horary  readings, but my favorite quote from ALL of Frawley is not about methodology of chart interpretation. If you open this textbook on page 65 (the part about “Moon void of course”) you will read the following: ”It is rumored that Quentin Tarantino was inspired to make Reservoir Dogs by the sight of astrologers discussing the meaning of void of course.” OK, I really need a ROFL emoji here!

It is true, discussions on this topic can get brutal, but I am just glad some astrologer  out there (I suspect it was Frawley himself) decided to start this rumor , thus combining two of the things I enjoy greatly – astrology and Quentin’s breakthrough masterpiece.

dogssss

An article idea didn’t take long to pop into my head. There are numerous articles on various film and book characters’ Zodiac signs out there but even though I haven’t done an extensive search, something tells me the Dogs weren’t written much about. In fact googling for “reservoir dogs zodiac signs” produces only one relevant link to a page with character’s GIFs, names and signs (2 signs per person) and no explanations for the choice. I feel like the task was to *randomly* divide the 12 signs equally between the six “Misters” so that no Zodiac sign feels left out. It gives an impression that someone didn’t even watch the movie, because if they did, it went over their head. Joe and Nice Guy Eddie are left out, instead the Dogs are the nominal six guys in suits.  I mean, OK, Mr. Brown is somewhat identifiable as Gemini with his stream of verbal diarrhea  – and Gemini was not the choice of that… uhm… article. What’s more, even Mr. Blue gets described with a Zodiac archetype – and the guy only has four lines and and 2 minutes of screen time!

In any case, I think it is time someone had not only posted about it, but actually gave it some thought. My first impulse after I decided to write this entry in my blog was to re-watch the film for the God-knows-which-th time, since it’s been a while, but then I thought it would be better to go on what’s left in my memory about the characters. After all, it would be the brightest features and the qualities that showed most that would help me to define them.

For any astrology-savvy people, I need to make a disclaimer – this is just the Zodiac archetypes, the basic energy each one is embodying. So please save your arguments about ascendants, Sun and Moon signs, aspects and houses for some other article. Unlike Dexter (read article here), whose life story is described in detail, these guys’ lives are shown only in connection with the robbery, so I am not attempting a full delineation for each one.

Let me start with the Dog whose sign was the easiest one to tell:

Mr. Pink – Virgo

“Keep calm and act like a professional” should be on this guy’s coffee mug. Amidst the post-robbery chaos Mr. Pink tries not to let emotions get the better of him. Like any Virgo, he keeps them safely locked up in a special vault. He urges the others to think, to analyse, to try and figure out who the rat is. The desire to be rational and “act like a professional” along with harnessing any emotional outbursts could also describe another Earth sign – Capricorn. Why isn’t he the Goat?

See, Capricorn is cardinal, it’s more like Joe’s “My way or the highway” boss-like attitude regardless of the actual position of a person in any organisation. Virgo is mutable, ready to change the alliances on a moment’s notice and adjust to any circumstance life should throw at them. Capricorn is, much like Aries, bent on moving forward butting any obstacle with the horns. Virgo is quicksand, shifting its way around the problem rather than fighting it openly. They can, of course, if they’re forced to, but it is never their initiative. And that’s what we see in his interaction with others.

Mr. White – Sagittarius

He’s the most jovial type of them all, the kind you keep forgetting is a criminal until you see him shoot out the car. In all other scenes his face bares a good-humored expression and with his concern for (and later – protection of) Mr. Orange he really steals our hearts as being a gangster with one. This bond with Mr. Orange is also quite revealing for both characters. Sagittarians indeed are open-hearted and would go an extra mile or two for a friend they have met 3 days ago. Besides, this fatherly attitude (as he keeps calling Orange “kid”) is another typical trait – they like to be seen as a figure of authority. Not the “I’m the boss, so you must listen to me” Capricornian authority. Sag’s agenda is more like “I’m pretty wise, so you should listen to me and you might learn some good things”. In this particular example it translates into: “Are you a doctor? No! So listen to me – I’ve seen some stomach wounds and it takes days to die from them…so you’re not going to die!”

His conflict with Mr. Pink only confirms my choice – these two signs are in a square to each other, which is an aspect of conflict. Sagittarius is annoyed by Virgo’s nitpicky attitude, his nature is to see the bigger picture and he can’t be bothered with every detail. He believes, he doesn’t analyze. If he believes Mr. Orange is “a good kid” and can not be a rat – then it is beyond doubt. Virgo Mr. Pink, on the other hand, wouldn’t rule out his own mother if she was a member of the group. He would only base his decision on carefully collected evidence. This unwavering belief in the essential goodness of humankind gets many Sagittarians in trouble, which in the case of Mr. White became a fatal mistake.

reservoir-dogs

Mr. Blond – Scorpio

Yes, yes, I know. Stereotypical AF, you will say. Nevertheless, let me explain. The ear cutting scene is, of course, the one that would be the reason anyone even remotely familiar with Zodiac archetypes will rush to stick the label “the nasty one” (aka Scorpio) right across Mr. Blond’s mugshot. And that is definitely following a stereotype. Scorpio does not equal blood lust or cruelty. Dr. Josef Mengele, a nazi physician who not only supervised  the selection of arriving transports of prisoners, determining who was to be killed and who was to become a forced laborer, but personally performed multiple surgeries without anesthesia as part of his experiments, was a Pisces Sun and a Libra Moon. So please, put you labels away and I’ll tell you why Mr. Blond’s a Scorp.

From the very beginning he acts as cool as a cucumber. The opening scene aside, there’s more than enough going on to tip one’s balance. Everyone’s freaking out with different degree of intensity, while this guy is entirely in his element. Scorpio and the 8th house is associated with work in both police and criminal structures. Ever wonder why? It has nothing to do with morals, those are left for Sagittarians to deal with. It is all about danger – Scorpios thrive in it. If they can’t get it at work, they create it elsewhere in life. Sometimes by choosing an extreme hobby, sometimes by simply getting in all sorts of trouble, just to see if they can get out.

After getting away from the immediate danger at the store, Mr. Blond’s danger-o-meter goes straight back to zero. It doesn’t matter that there are cops “out there” – his danger tolerance level is a dozen times higher than all of his…hmmm…. colleagues’?… put together. He stops for a bite, picks up a cop to-go and shows up at the warehouse as if he’s just 5 minutes late for another day at the office. Quite masterfully provokes Mr. White, without any seeming effort, by slighting his authority (remember – Sagittarius is sensitive about that). So yes, like a true Scorpio he knows what buttons to push and likes doing it just to see how people would react.

And before we get to the iconic Danse Macabre, I want to take you guys back to Joe’s office where fresh-out-of-jail Blond is asking Joe when he can get some “real work”. The whole business of doing time for someone is, naturally, all part of the job when you’re building a career in organised crime. Mr. Blond’s attitude to it is what adds to him being profiled as Scorpio.

He is not looking for praise or trying to curry favor with the boss, he doesn’t care how far up the ranks it would get him nor is he interested in the financial benefits that come with this feat. He did Joe a solid and now the old man owes him. There’s no need to put it in the limelight but this info will be recorded…. No, it will be etched in laser in Scorpios memory and stored for eternity, or until the time comes to call in that favor. Joe knows it, Blond knows it, it’s a part of their power play. Incidentally, Scorpios like to call in favors in the most dire situations. Just in case you know a Scorpio or two – be ready. It is also useful to know that they’re not desperate and are very likely to be able to manage without you but they want to test you. You know, just to see what you would do.

Back to the warehouse and the cop torturing. As we have seen, blood thirst is not exclusively a Scorpio’s feature, so it is more important to watch HOW he goes about it. Again, his reasons are not the superficial “Me want hurt you” or asserting his power. He does have the power over the man and he knows it. Pain is not the goal, it’s the means. The means of exploring, in the words of Heath Ledger’s Joker, “who this man really is” (when you take a knife to him). Some Scorpio-influenced Plutonians out there, provided the rest of the chart has some tense placements, do very similar things without spilling a drop of blood, but causing the same (or higher) equivalent of emotional pain instead. I’m not trying to add to their bad rep. It is an essential part of a complex process of healing others, unfortunately not every Scorpio has read the manual till  the end.

rocnik-detail-410

And just as abruptly as the scene with Mr. Blond jamming out to Steelers Wheel is ended, were are going to jump to the guy who did it.

Mr. Orange  – Aries.

He was the hardest one to define and for a good reason – he’s undercover. I bypass another stereotype of “undercover = secret = Scorpio”(because, again, it’s not about the job, but about HOW he does it)  and we only have one clue so far – Mr. White. They get along quite well, which must mean Mr. Orange is either another Fire or Air sign. Yet, it’s futile to look for any more hints at Orange’s Zodiac sign in his behaviour as a member of the gang. Since he’s undercover, he’s wearing a mask that is hiding his true identity, he’s playing a role of some other guy that is not himself. So what do we have left to go on?

Not much. Half of the time he’s not doing anything other than bleeding out on the floor and the rest of the screen time is divided between pretending to be someone else and learning 4 pages of text, which he seems to struggle with, so we can eliminate Gemini (besides, it’s already taken by Mr. Brown).

I spent a few days mulling over it until the revelation came – there IS one moment where he shows his true nature which indicates very clearly that he can be none other than the Ram. It is literally just a moment, a split second of action and I kept overlooking it for a while or, rather, it kept blending into the bigger picture. Once I took a magnifying glass to the scant evidence on Mr. Orange’s case, it jumped out at me and I think I had my duh moment of the year.

Without further delay, and because some of you guys are probably not as thick as I was about this particular question, I give you the proof  for my choice: the shooting of Mr. Blond. I mean, it’s so simple, I still want to hit myself for not seeing this before. Luckily, my hands are busy typing, so instead, let me  tell you just how perfectly everything falls into place with Mr. Orange being Aries.

Impulsiveness, of course, is one of the traits of this sign. To be fair, other signs are not strangers to spontaneous decisions, however we can immediately eliminate Libra – they would have taken so long to consider all the pros and cons of shooting, the cop would have been roasted twice by the time a Libra had finally chosen one option (which they still would not be sure about).

That leaves us with Leo and Aquarius to look at. Leos are just as brave as Arieses but they’re much more concerned with their own well-being and have the capacity to realize such an action would put their ass in even deeper trouble than they already are, cutting all chances of surviving the ordeal down to 0%. Yes, they would have felt bad for the cop, but Leos value their precious self above all else. They’re ruled by the Sun, and this point of view is quite natural to them – we can all go on living if Venus or Neptune just up and disappears, but without the Sun… well, you can use your imagination to think just how long the Earth would last if the Sun disappeared.

Aquarius is the sign with a completely opposite world view – everything is done for the benefit of all people, the entire community and not just to serve the interests of one. So in this particular scenario an Aquarian would also feel sorry for the cop but he wouldn’t endanger the entire operation, the work of the large group (police) and all the efforts they put into catching the big fish.

This leads us back to Aries by way of elimination, but let’s test it a little more just to make sure we got the right one. Arians, just as Leos, are pretty selfish folk, but their selfishness is different. They’re not so much about their own well-being. They’re more about doing what they want, come hell or high water. Incidentally, very often it does come, which is just what they’re looking for, since they have to apply all that Mars energy somewhere. They almost never take time to think what the actions might lead to – once they decided to do something, the only thinking that is done is about how to do it.

There is another side to it all, too. I don’t want it to look like being an Aries made Mr. Orange too daft to understand he’s blowing his cover. It was this particular situation that appealed to another trait of this sign – the desire to protect the weak.

Every Zodiac sign has a legend of how it got to be in the skies. Here’s the one for Aries:

King Athamas and his wife Nephele had an unhappy marriage, so Athamas turned instead to Ino, daughter of King Cadmus from neighbouring Thebes. Ino resented her step-children, Phrixus and Helle, and she arranged a plot to have them killed. She began by parching the wheat so that the crops would fail. When Athamas appealed for help to the Delphic Oracle, Ino bribed messengers to bring back a false reply that Phrixus must be sacrificed to save the harvest.

Reluctantly, Athamas took his son to the top of mountain, overlooking his palace. He was about to sacrifice Phrixus to Zeus when Nephele intervened to save her son, sending down from the sky a winged ram with a golden fleece. Phrixus climbed on the ram’s back and was joined by his sister Helle, who feared for her own life. They flew off eastwards to Colchis, which lay on the eastern shore of the Black Sea…

Later, the ram’s golden fleece appears in myths about Jason and the Argonauts, but the theme of saving the innocent children is the one we’re interested in.

You see, it was the cop’s helplessness Orange couldn’t tolerate. If the cop hadn’t been tied, if he and Mr. Blond were fighting and Mr. Blond had overpowered the cop, I doubt Mr. Orange would have lifted his gun – after all, it would have been a fair fight and dying while fighting criminals is what cops do. But trying to take a life of someone who isn’t given the chance to protect themselves touched that deep core belief in justice that any Aries carries in them. Which, in turn, triggered the impulse to do what he wants and sees as the only right thing to do in this particular moment, not burdening himself with any concern for the future, including his own. Paradoxically, a selfish impulse lead to a selfless action.

So there you have it – four main characters explained astrologically as I see them. I finally get to pour some tea and go watch the film again. As I said, it’s been a while…